I posted a little bit of this before but I have a huge project that I have spent a lot of time on. I created my own fake wrestling company with an ever-expanding roster. I love writing pro-wrestling promos and exploring characters. I do realize that my characters owe a lot of their inspiration to the entertainers and story lines I always loved. I don’t care. Actually, some of the characters I wrote appeared in my head before I saw performers just like them. For instance, I wrote Paige before I saw her on NXT. Well, not exactly but close enough.
* * *
<With no fanfare or announcement, William Cardona, Esquire steps out onto the stage with a microphone in hand and starts down the ramp and towards the ring>
Cardona: Ladies and Gentlemen, if I could have your attention just for a little while. I know this wasn’t scheduled and I will try to keep this brief.
<A chorus of boos and chatter make it so anything the young lawyer would say would most likely be inaudible. Cardona, who is now in the middle of the ring, gives the crowd a ‘Really?’ look and rolls his eyes. He mocks checking his watch and taps his foot. He finally makes the ‘Wrap it Up’ signal with his hand. The boos grow louder. Cardona seems to signal something to the timekeepers area and speaks into the microphone which is now louder>
Cardona: That’s about as warm a welcome as I can expect in a place like Miami, I guess. I can’t wait to get out of this town so I can take a long, long shower and feel clean again. <More boos> Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes. I William Cardona Esquire, as a duly appointed representative of Storm Industries, stand before you in your time of need. Believe me, your troubles have not gone unnoticed and our heartfelt sympathy is with you. This situation with these ‘Wolves’ is bad. If you think that a weak-willed boss like Ms. Trisha Cowan can manage damage control then I’m afraid you are sadly mistaken. However, you can all start writing your thank you letters now because I have the perfect solution: my client, Robert Storm.
<Cardona points up the ramp as the lights go out and a single spotlight picks out a man in a suit sauntering into the light before fireworks go off and Robert Storm raises his hands in the air like a homecoming hero. Cardona applauds in the ring as he watches his client walk down the ramp and try to shake hands but the audience isn’t really buying it>
Storm: That’s right. I have returned. <Boos> You. Are. Welcome! <He raises his arms in the air to more boos> I have returned to save this company from those wolves at the gate and I am not asking for one thing in return. Trust me. I hate to point out that I told you. I told you. I. Told. You. You cannot trust Adam Wolf. Well, I’m here to reassure you that I have experience with Adam. I can offer my expertise and my help. I don’t even want anything in return. Nothing at all. <Storm and Cardona share a look where they all but wink at each other>
<Storm and Cardona look up sharply as their time in the ring is interrupted by the music for Cass Calloway. Cass is carrying a microphone and as the music fades down and the crowd quiets back down, he speaks.>
Cass: I’ve got one question for you, Storm, with all due respect, of course.
Cardona: All questions, especially from inferior wrestlers, should be addressed in writing to Mr. Storm’s legal counsel first.
Storm: I’ll make an exception this time, William. I’m feeling generous. Ask your question, Cass, I won’t even complain about how rude it is to interrupt.
Cass: Alright, who asked you? Who asked you to come and “save” us?
Storm: Nobody asked me to. I just decided that I owed it to the good people who enjoy the product and services we provide.
Cass: Sounds generous but I think you’re just upset about the Wolves crowding in on your territory.
Storm: My territory. Cass, the only thing I’ve ever wanted was fair and honest competition.
Cass: That’s funny. That’s really funny. Paul Storm, you’re a bully and a cheat and a liar.
Cardona: Mr. Calloway, you are crossing the line into actionable slander.
Cass: Again, apologies, I wouldn’t want to get sued. Everybody out there knows the truth anyway <He points out at the crowd>. Though, if you’re looking for a fight, you don’t have to look any further than me.
<Suddenly he was in Storm’s face and Storm didn’t shy away>
Storm: If I have to prove that I’m the man for the job then yes. The match is on. I could use a warm-up match.
Cass: You and me. In the center of that ring and you know what? Let’s make it right now.
<Cardona tries to say something to Storm off microphone but Storm waves him off>
Storm: You’re on. Get a ref down here! <Storm starts to strip off his jacket and dress shirt as Cass Calloway’s music hits and he and a referee start heading towards the ring. Cardona scurries out of the ring quickly>