So, I talk about sports entertainment to anybody who will listen to me all the time to the point where I worry I’m overselling the product to people who don’t care and annoying them. I can literally work the history of sports entertainment into any conversation since its long history provides lots of characters, storylines and such to draw from. It was partly the fear of negative social backlash that I started to put this in my blog. The other half, of course, is that I love it so much. It is a great excuse to comb through old footage on youtube or try to remember trivia from decades of history.
Recently I was assaulting my brother with one of my rambling diatribes about the WWE product. I was probably outlining Daniel Bryan’s rise to power or the Shield’s break up or something. He turned to me and asked something that I have heard now and then. “Did you ever think about becoming a wrestler?” My knee jerk reaction is that this sounds like “If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” but then I realize my brother is serious. I do enjoy the product so much that it is not such a logical leap for me to be in the business. My simple answer? “Are you kidding? I don’t want to get hurt.”
You see, professional wrestling is a “fake” sport. The results of each match are planned ahead of time and the matches are choreographed ahead of time, during the match or often a mixture of the two. However, as most fans will tell you, the physical contact can be very real and anything but fake. Sure, when a wrestler is body slammed they are protected by their opponent but at the same time they are being picked up and slammed on the mat. Not only that but accidents happen and people get seriously injured. It’s a high risk profession and people are often forced to retire from it early.
Then there’s the moments where the wrestlers and promoters decide that they are going to take that risk and turn it up to eleven. This is done to sell tickets and stamp memories into the audiences brains that they will take away with them for a long time. “Whoa, how could you miss that chair shot last night on the payperview? You have to order the replay, dude.” These moments can be scary within the storyline and also when you think of these people as performers. That’s why I wanted to salute some of those moments that have us cringing and shaking our heads with wonder and respect.
(Warning: Some might find this episode particularly graphic)
This one is an obvious one for the list. This is the moment that blew my teenage mind, a moment which led to a series of moments that made me drop my jaw to the floor. There are several parts in this match where Mick Foley could easily have died. The way he tells it, he was legitimately concussed during the match as he spent a large portion blacked out. Not only that but the only way he could remember the events of the match was watching the tape earlier. Some of this match is the performers taking calculated risks and some of it is purely accidental. The only reasons that Mick Foley didn’t die are professionalism and a little luck.
I defy you to watch that footage and tell me that wrestling is “fake”. That is not prop glass. It takes more than one attempt to put Shane through that glass. When his body hits the glass with a whump, it’s somehow more impressive and looks more painful. Kurt Angle is a machine and an actual gold medal wrestler in the 1996 Olympics. He transitioned from being an acclaimed and accomplished competitor to the world of sports entertainment. He makes a name for himself again in the world of the WWF (WWE). Then he’s told that not only is he going to have a match with his boss’ son but he is going to do this to him. This match is completely insane, especially when you realize that Shane is way too rich to have to do this. Shane McMahon’s brief wrestling career is full of moments like this.
Wow. Just wow. That was my reaction when I first saw this. This was pretty much my introduction to Ring of Honor while I tried to catch up on old iPPVs. The storyline had built up a rivalry so heated that building an elaborate structure out of ladders did not seem too silly. OK it was a little silly. Still, the whole thing is worth the spot in the video above. A normal piledriver is a move that requires a lot of trust between performers. A package piledriver seemingly leaves the victim completely unable to protect themselves, requiring a greater level of trust. Then you up the ante by doing the move about six feet in the air onto metal ladders and it’s just amazing. The crowd chants what we’re all thinking.
This one is from this year and thanks to the WWE Network and GIFs, I was able to watch moments from this match more than once. Both Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins seem to excel at taking large amounts of punishment. They are two of the most entertaining performers in the business today and I hope they survive these sorts of matches without career-ending injuries. This moment was so amazing that I had to show my brother. I believe his response was “Whoa!”. There is no way to fake the impact of this move. You close your eyes, brace yourself and try to fall as flat on your back as possible.
Yes, you read all of that correctly. I took great care in typing it all out. Not only was there barbed wire all around the ring but it was also attached to wooden boards that were rigged with C-4. Yes, the same C-4 you see in movies and Mythbusters. The really dangerous explosive. The concept was that if a performer is pushed onto one of the barbed wire boards, it explodes under them. This caused severe burns for both Funk and Foley. Yes, this is the same Foley who later got thrown off of a cage. Besides being ripped to shreds by barbed wire and subjected to C-4 boards, the idea was for the ring itself to explode at the end of the match. We never did get to see this happen as it fizzles. Still, Mick Foley describes himself as smelling like burnt flesh for days after this match.