Wisdom Teeth

I am sitting here seven hours removed from getting half of my wisdom teeth and a broken tooth removed. The surgery was a success and was fairly brief despite a few extra complications. I promised my brother I would try to write this post. We both thought it would be funny to read a post written while I was high as a kite. However, as you can see, I am a bit disappointed in that regard

I am currently on Hydrocodone. It took a while to kick in for this first dose, turning my torture into a dull roar. The bleeding is going down bit by bit but it is still impressive. So far so good. However, I am a little disappointed that I’m not goofy and babbling. You see, I really have never done drugs. I occasionally have a bit of whiskey, I have used Tylenol PM, and I have been in the same room while people smoked pot. I thought this might be my big chance to get high with a good excuse but no dice.

I will tell you a few things I remember from the event this morning. It’s blessedly little. I got to the office and signed in and was escorted to my throne. I talked to one of the nurses and got a chance to bash Tom Brady a bit together. I noticed that while I sat there, they were blasting classical music in the hallways. Curiously, this included the French National Anthem and the 1812 Overture. Great, I was going to get teeth extracted while the French Revolution was going on in the hallway.

Then the surgeon walked in who is a really suave straight shooter. The first words out of his mouth were how Hurricane Irma had just canceled his 35th wedding anniversary in January at St. Bart’s. This should have been in poor taste but it made me laugh, disarming me. (Edit: This is now in poor taste again). Then he put me out and I woke up to be taken to meet my family members who were waiting to haul me out of there.

I noticed that I had an ice pack tied to my head. I thought I must have looked like Jacob Marley. Everybody kept insisting on talking to me while my mouth was full of gauze. Then they told me not to talk. No fair. But, I can’t fault my loved ones for trying to engage me to make sure that I was alright and to keep me from worrying about the impending pain and blood. I am sitting here desperately waiting to be able to take the gauze out so I can talk again. I have so far only gobbled a single yogurt all day today. (Edit: In the next 36 hours I only had yogurt).

The medicine does make me doze every so often. I will wake up and watch some YouTube or browse the web on my phone but social media are forbidden until I can trust myself. I’m already bored! I’m allowed to be. If I do get loopy, I will post it here in whatever form it takes.

Edit: It is now Sunday night and things are looking up. There is not much pain but the left side of my lower lip and part of my chin are still numb. I have a huge bruise on the left side of my face. I am carefully chewing food on the right side of my mouth but it makes me paranoid. The bleeding has long since stopped and the swelling is down. This has been no walk in the park and it is not over but I feel a lot better about everything.

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