DnD Poetry

I have been out of town for a while now, working for a firm in West Virginia. Yesterday, I traveled back home to attend the funeral of a dear friend who we lost unexpectedly. He was part of our regular tabletop gaming group and an inspirational man and friend. I will miss him greatly as will my friends. My mind is a little distracted from mourning and wrapping tons of presents for Christmas (as a favor to my family). Here are some poems I wrote that I saved in my draft folder when I thought that I was going to do DnDCember this year. Instead, I have done D&D posts every month this year or at least that is how it feels. So here you go, horrible poetry. Be good to each other. There will be a post on Christmas and it should be happier.

But before that, I need to tell you about my friend Joe. He was part of the tabletop gaming group I am in which is how we met. He welcomed me into his home, fed me, and called me a friend when I did not have many in Baltimore. He was such a good man. He was rarely serious unless he needed to be. When it was time to goof off, he was there to lighten the mood and laugh louder than anybody else. Even when the joke was on him and, with his self-deprecating humor, he was a common target for gags in a group setting. He never let such things bother him and gave as good as he got if not better. When the chips were down, he was always there to help any way he could along with a smile. When our group went out to the movies, he was the one who bought the tickets. He was the ringleader and the touchstone for the group.

He was a doctor who worked in veterinary sciences and epidemiology. Something, I often forgot about because he almost never brought it up (except when he wanted to win an argument about animals). Of course, he is the same man who completely misgendered a cat he and his wife fostered. He was incredibly smart but never used that to make anyone feel powerless or inferior. To him, it seemed like it was just something he was good at, knowing we all have our strengths. Joe definitely knew his strengths and made the best of them. He used those strengths to create a family and an extended family made up of friends and coworkers. I would find it hard to believe anybody who said they did not like Joe.

What I will always remember are our endless pop culture discussions. We had differing views on music but we never clashed. My stance was that there is good music being made after 1990 and that automatically rejecting whole genres is close-minded. His response was to always just play his favorite songs from the seventies and eighties. He was a man who knew what he liked and I still respect that. He certainly knew his movies too even though he and the rest of our crew always drove me crazy by talking during the movie. I cannot deny his passion for life, love, and art. As a self-proclaimed poet, I loved that and I still love that. He was great to talk to about movies because even though I did not always share his opinion, I always respected that he had one. We certainly agreed on a lot and disagreeing was always more about fun to me than an actual argument. That is the personal thing between us that I will most of all.

I just wanted to let you all know just a fraction about him as we observe his passing.

Now the poetry:

The runes were written round and round
The staff of Elris the Shadow Hound
With a magic specialty in evocation
He protected a young version of our nation
From demon hordes and undead throngs
But not for fame, tales, or songs
And not for gems or any coin
It was not nobility he wished to join
He did it because it made him pissed
To see the land’s people so dismissed
From his fury he drew his power
In Eloria’s darkest hour
When the fight was at last won
He faded into the setting sun
Nobody knows where he went
Or even if he was godsent
All we know is that he was what we needed
So his lesson should indeed be heeded

Oh for an end to all the chanting of spellcasters!
Mumbling, stumbling, wordy Wizards
What if I was trying to be stealthy?
What then? Oh learned one?
Oh Master of Memorization
I am trying to sneak up behind our foe
Then you start speaking your silly spells and
The fight begins prematurely
How’s that for a big word, Oh Learned one?
It means that you started before I was ready
Ready to drive one of my blades
Between the shoulder blades of our enemy
The enemy that is now chewing on your face
While I fume here, trying to make the best of it
And yet you think you’re better than me
Smarter than me, maybe. But not better.
I have picked a thousand locks
Stolen countless treasures
While you sat at a desk and studied
And then you ruin the whole attack plan
Just goes to show that educated does not mean smart
Please don’t turn me into a newt again

There once was a dragon in Norway
Too big to fit through the doorway
While it raged outside
Inside did we hide
Because we lacked significant swordplay

Justice and Revenge
Justice is done in the day
In the night, revenge

Things in the Feywild
Shift and change all of the time
Keep your wits about

 

And, in honor of my friend Joe:

Please loot the bodies
Or else, how will we profit?
Gold is all we need

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