Chastity Bites (2013)

Elizabeth Bathory has long been associated with vampires. She was a Hungarian noblewoman alive in the fifteen hundreds. We already know how eastern Europe is already heavily associated with vampire legends. She grew up in a castle and lived in comparative luxury as she was the niece of the King of Poland (who was also a prince of Transylvania of all places). One of the first tales that seems to connect her with vampirism came when she was a child. Apparently, she suffered from seizures as a child which was known as “falling sickness” and the folk remedy was to smear blood of the unaflicted on the victim’s mouth. Therefore, she actually did taste human blood if that story is to be believed. Perhaps tales like these are what expanded into vampires who need human blood to survive.

There are a lot of legends that surround Bathory when she got older. She was apparently particularly brutal, torturing and killing many of her fellow Hungarians. It is hard to differentiate from rumor and actual history as history is written with a particular slant. What is known is that a Lutheran minister complained to the crown and the King was eventually forced to investigate one of the nobles of his land. Investigators took testimony from over 300 sources. Testimony stated that Elizabeth Bathory had started her reign of terror by torturing young preteen girls who had been sent to her to learn courtly etiquette. Needles, hot tongs, ice water, honey and ants, and other methods. People said she bathed in the blood of virgin girls. Investigation later revealed that the testimonies may have been false and obtained through coercion and/or torture. It may have been a plan to divest her of her Estate and divide it up.

The first thing I noticed was the fun and campy acting. The movie immediately strikes a particular tone somewhere between DEBS and Heathers. The protagonist of the movie is played by the brilliant Allison Scagliotti. She plays a spunky young feminist high schooler with aspirations of being a reporter. Louise Griffiths is wicked as the abstinence counselor “Liz Batho”. She is so delightful, akin to Chris Sarandon in Fright Night. Amy Okuda, Sarah Stouffer, Lindsey Morgan, and Chloe Crampton are so good as the popular girls. Francia Racia is fun as the best friend who gets in way over her head. The rest of the cast does a great job of being so sunny and perky that it is creepy.

I really like the cinematography. Most of it reads as a good television show, everything is shot tight and clear but with just a hint of shadow in a lot of scenes. The kill sequences are done largely through POV or are shot in a manic fashion that made me a bit anxious as I watched but they kept it light as a horror comedy. The gore is actually fairly light but it is a vampire movie so of course there is dark crimson, beautiful blood. There are some really interesting special effects at points in the story that definitely caught me off guard. There are some interesting camera tricks to ratchet up the weird vibe of the movie. I really liked the settings. Many did not seem like traditional horror like sterile high school hallways and normal suburban homes. Some of them are way more traditional like a spooky manor.

Overall, I really liked this movie. It was a clever modern adaptation of the Bathory legends with a really fun cast. Scagliotti and Griffiths are particularly electric on screen and have a really good dynamic. I was not sold on the sex comedy part of it but it did not go too far and was played completely for laughs. It was a pretty tight little horror comedy movie. I recommend this movie.

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