Posts Tagged ‘Girls’ Night’

Girls’ Night -A Harley Quinn Story

April 8, 2020

“You’re not going straight, are you?” Ivy asked. She was tending to a couple different venus flytraps but she was paying attention to the conversation. Mostly.

Harley Quinn laughed. “You know that I’ve never been anywhere close to straight,” she said and then she shrugged. “I’m not going all goody-two-shoes, Red, I’m just talking about kicking a little ass.”

“Criminal ass,” Ivy noted with a slight smile. “You’re talking about busting criminals. A lot of the people you worked alongside previously.”

“That was with Mr. J,” Harley said and then corrected herself. “Joker. I’m done with that, it always ended in tears.”

“It always ended in Batman,” Ivy said. “He would abandon you and then Batman or Robin or Batgirl or whoever would catch you. Batman always wins.”

“Exactly,” Harley said. “I don’t want to fight Batman anymore. I just want to do my thing.”

“What is your thing?” Ivy asked, turning toward Harley. “You don’t want to fight Batman and you don’t want to be with Joker anymore. Wait, that’s still the case right?”

“Oh Hell yes,” Harley said. “I’m done with him forever.”

“Because the only reason I allowed you to stay here was that you promised,” Ivy said sternly.

“Geez Red,” Harley said. “I’m done. I’m here with you now. I also don’t just ‘stay here’. I pay rent.” She said the last with a slight pout.

“Sometimes,” Ivy said with a smile.

“That’s going to change,” Harley said defensively. “I’m changing.”

The truth was, Harley had already changed a lot. She still had a lot of the chemicals that had ‘created’ her flowing through her veins. However, it seemed like some of the mania in her head had cleared thanks to the correct balance of medications. Ivy had helped to cultivate the correct treatment with consultation from Bane of all people. When Harley had finally broken with Joker, Ivy had taken her on a trip out of the country. That meant that Harley finally got some sun and stopped using facepaint. She had started to shake up her style now that she was not trying to please anybody but herself. She had abandoned her trademark pigtails and had gone with a sidecut instead. She died her hair multicolored and wore whatever she pleased. She was happier.

“Is that why you bought the armor?” Ivy asked. She gestured over at Ivy’s new acquisition which had been meticulously designed.

“It’s hardly even armor,” Harley said dismissively. “It’s just the chest piece and some leg plating. I can’t do all my flippy stuff if I’m weighed down too much but this stuff is bulletproof in case things go to crap.”

“Are you expecting that things will ‘go to crap’?” Ivy asked. “I don’t want you hurt out there.”

“These streets are rough out there, Red,” Harley said. “But it’s just in case. Everything is going to be fine.”

“Is it?” Ivy asked. “You still haven’t exactly explained your plan here.”

“Well,” Harley said. “I don’t really have anything against criminals. A lot of people get left behind and they gotta survive the best they can. What I don’t like are people like Joker, like Black Mask, like Scarecrow. The dangerous assholes. The killers. What I wanna do is take them out. While we’re at it, we might as well take their money. Maybe Batman will be grateful we’re helping him do his job.”

“I doubt it,” Ivy said. “but it is a fairly noble plan.”

“So are you in?” Harley asked. “Do you want to join the team?”

“Team?” Ivy asked. “Harley, you know I love you but I’m done fighting. I’m a scientist again now and I just want to develop things that are going to save the world with ecology, not violence. I’m just Ivy now, no poison. I’ll always support you, though.”

“That’s alright, Ivy,” Harley said and leaned in to kiss her. They shared a sweet but passionate kiss. “Like I said, I’m putting together a team for this. You can party with us anytime but you don’t hafta. I understand.”

“Good,” Ivy said. “I’ll always be here when you come home.”

“You’re so sweet, Red,” Harley said.

There was a sound in the living room and Harley spun around, she just suddenly had her oversized pistol in her hand by instinct. She pointed it at the door that led into the living room.

“Who’s there!?” Harley yelled out. “Show yourself.”

Catwoman walked into the room with her hands up and a confused look on her face. “It’s me, Catwoman,” she said. “You invited me here to talk over your proposal.”

“Oh yeah!” Harley said with a smile, setting her gun aside. “Welcome! Can I get you something to drink? Saucer of milk?” It was hard to tell if Harley was serious or just joking. Catwoman just decided to brush the comment aside.

“Cute,” Catwoman said. “I’m good.” She looked around, taking the place in with mild interest. There was nothing really to steal so it was kind of boring.

“Harley!” Ivy hissed. “You invited somebody to our apartment?”

“Yep,” she said. “I needed an out of the way place.”

“Without my permission?” Ivy asked.

“Oooh,” Harley groaned. “Sorry about that, Red. I wasn’t thinking about that, I was just so excited!”

“I know,” Ivy said. “I know how excited you get.”

“Maybe we should meet somewhere else?” Catwoman asked. “I know a few places that would work.”

The doorbell rang.

From around a corner, the porcelain-white mask of Anarky appeared. “Hey, is this the right place?” he asked. “Oh and Renee Montoya is at the front door.”

Ivy looked at Harley helplessly and Harley gave her an apologetic look. “Yeah,” she said. “We should go. Let’s go. Sorry, babe, see you later!” Catwoman slipped out of the apartment while Harley dragged Anarky out through the front door, past a confused Renee Montoya and Grace Choi. Ivy sighed and went back to work.


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