Posts Tagged ‘Horror’

Mad God (2021)

October 3, 2022

Being lost is scary. I remember a very specific incident, in fact. Growing up in Baltimore City, there were not a ton of green spaces for kids to run around in. There were local parks with playgrounds but they were almost always crowded. When my parents wanted to breathe in slightly better air surrounded by trees and water, they chose the unfortunately named Robert E. Lee Park (now called Lake Roland Park after the lake it surrounds). I must have been about seven but I am not a hundred percent sure about that. I don’t even remember how it happened but somehow my family was nowhere in sight. I was terrified. I started tearing around the trails in a panic. I had not yet learned that when you are lost, you are supposed to stay put until somebody finds you. I instead engaged in blind panic which is probably an early indicator of my anxiety problems in retrospect. It turned out alright for me. I was found. Getting lost is becoming less likely these days but it can still happen.

Strange unknown worlds are also scary. I have experienced it several times in my life. The first big shock to my system was the difference between how I was taught the world is and how it actually is. When you are really young, you are shielded from a lot of the world’s ugliness. Everything is sunshine and smiles and everybody is nice and gets along while working together. The cracks slowly form in that and then there is a realization of the evil and ignorance in the world. This is when a kid has to start forming defenses to cope with the tough parts of life. I also remember moving to northwest New Jersey after being cradled in the college atmosphere. Being in a new place and trying to use maps and intuition to find my way was difficult. I never knew who to ask for directions but that was mostly my anxiety. I never wanted to bother anybody because I did not want to be bothered. I always imagined the worst-case scenario.

The first thing I noticed was the wonderful animation. It should be wonderful, it has the masterful Phil Tippett behind the wheel who worked on the visual effects of so many movies. This is his personal project that took 30 years to make meticulously. It is stop motion animation so it has the creepy jerky quality a little bit but there is so much that astonished me that it was animation. The art form has really improved over the last few decades (see Laika Studios) but this is something entirely different. It is beautifully shot with such an old-school cinematic flair. Every detail is crafted expertly and nothing is half-assed. Every single frame is a painting I would hang on my wall. There is some puppetry but I feel that is in line with animation.The designs are like a bizarre mix of Cronenberg, Lovecraft, and HR Giger. They are truly horrible to behold.

The tone of the movie is bleak and mysterious. Since there is no dialogue, we do not get a lot of solid answers as to what exactly is going on. There is a definite narrative but it also feels like a safari through a strange, alien world. Nothing looks human but some of it feels vaguely similar to our culture or at least the brutality at the center of human culture. The viewer is left the guess at what exactly is happening while following the central character who is the audience’s point of view. In each scene, you can definitely tell what is happening physically but the why is left to interpretation. Its a very different film in this way. Actually, what I would compare it to somewhat are the video games Inside and Little Nightmares. The viewer is taken on a journey through a disgusting and disturbing journey through a dark landscape.

Overall, I liked this movie. It was esoteric and hard to parse but the visuals never stopped being amazing. It is very clear that this was a passion project as I cannot see any studio agreeing to fund it. Tippet worked on it when he had time or had film interns who wanted to get some hands-on animation experience. The movie was terrifying in a lot of ways but one of the major ones is that I did not know what was going on. The movie seems to delight in giving the viewer that feeling. Would I recommend it? That is a more difficult question than usual. I think a lot of horror fans would love it but I can also see a lot of people turning it off after thirty minutes because of the lack of narrative. I recommend it as a spectacle and a reminder of what animation can do when pushed to its limits.

Willy’s Wonderland (2021)

October 1, 2022

Clearly, somebody in pop culture finally got the message that animatronics are creepy. I think my first real experience with animatronics was the famed Munch’s Make Believe Band at the famous pizza establishment run by Charles Entertainment Cheese. I was also familiar with the less famous Rock-afire Explosion of Showbiz Pizza. The limited motion and mouth flaps of the animatronics were at once creepy and exciting for me. Here were things that were both alive and yet not alive. Of course, I had been to Disney before that but it was not until my second visit that the memory really stuck with me. Of course, I have talked about one of my life’s defining points, Snow White’s Adventures, and how it influenced my affinity for horror. So, Five Nights at Freddy’s helped bring animatronics back to the horror world, but they have always been there. In fact, I wrote about a similar movie over two years ago.

What makes animatronics creepy? I have spoken before about why I think clowns and mascots are creepy and part of that is true for animatronics. Even if they are fashioned as humans, they wear inhuman faces. You hear them talk and you see them move and you expect to see a human face but it just isn’t there. With animatronics, there is an additional layer. They are not really there. One of the things that can be creepy is that they are not delivering their voice lines or their songs to you. They do not notice you. They can’t notice you. They do their schpiel whether you are there or not. Of course, that is what makes animatronics so effective in horror. What would happen if they do notice you? What would happen if they really do see you?

The first thing I noticed was how much you can tell that they focused on getting the nostalgia feeling correct. It is strange to have nostalgia for something that did not happen but this definitely captures the feeling of all of those animatronic birthday pizza party locations. The color palette of the movie feels otherworldly at times. The camera work is often beautiful and the shots are carefully arranged for maximum effect. One thing the movie does is a lot of quick cuts in a row that never failed to make me laugh but also felt a little unnerving. The animatronics are so goofy which also makes them more terrifying when, well, you know. Their movement was done very well to the point where I could not tell what was CGI and what was practical. The kills are absolutely brutal and definitely exciting.

I really love the acting in this one. Nobody in this movie acts like a normal human being. Every single person is strange and it often feels like their part of different conversations. While this would usually be a sign of a bad movie, it was obviously intentionally weird for comedic effect and to keep the viewer off their guard. Also, the movie has a simple premise so they do not waste time getting to the fun stuff. Nicholas Cage is always on point, of course, and he is great at acting alternatively pissed off and crazy all without uttering a single word. Emily Tosta is great as possibly the only sane character in the movie, a small-town girl with ambition. The rest of the cast is made up of goofy character actors who add to the strange ambiance. The voice acting from the animatronics is spot on for a cartoon and exactly what you would get at Chuck E. Cheese. Their music is really well done as well.

Overall, I really loved this movie. It was a great movie to pick to start the month off as it has a mix of horror and humor. This is not just a cheap, quickly made horror movie to cash in on the resurgence of animatronic horror. This had some thought behind it and it showed. Now it is not a complex movie but the worldbuilding is on point. Apparently, Nic Cage produced the film as he was very protective of the script. It shows. There are a lot of things they could have done to cop out on and make it more ordinary but they stuck to their guns and made something that felt strange and new. I recommend this movie.

Media Update 9/29/22

September 29, 2022

Madhouse (1981)

A friend of mine suggested this movie to me because they found it to be extraordinary and strange. This has not been officially declared a Giallo movie but I certainly believe it qualifies. A young woman is summoned to visit her estranged twin sister who has been hospitalized with a terminal, disfiguring sickness. As their birthday approaches, the woman is haunted by a familiar beast. Trish Everly plays the main character and is great at being innocent and despairing. Allison Biggers is great at playing a twisted, bitter version as the sickly twin. Dennis Robertson is absolutely strange as the uncle who grew up to be a Catholic priest. Finally, Michael McCrae is a nice presence as a sane and competent psychologist boyfriend. The rest are colorful characters performed by comedic actors. The movie has a great dreamy atmosphere and a mystery that had a lot of surprises. There were also some very gory deaths. I recommend this movie.

Deep Red (Rosso Profondo) (1975)

This one is often listed in the top five of all Giallo movies. A young pianist happens to witness the murder of a young psychic woman and finds himself caught up in finding the killer along with a plucky, young reporter. David Hemmings is great as the lead, showing real concern and curiosity but also having some real human moments. Darla Nicolodi plays the reporter and provides more humor and a legitimate reason to investigate murders. Gabriel Lava plays the perpetually intoxicated playboy best friend who is also comic relief. The movie has some very beautiful visuals, often with the titular color. There are some creepy images, some with dolls and artwork. The mystery was fun to follow and the deaths were appropriately bloody. I recommend this movie.

Blood and Black Lace (6 Donne Per L’assassino) (1964)

A much earlier Giallo film that shows the roots of the subgenre. In an Italian fashion house, the murder of several models exposes the cracks and flaws in the relationships surrounding the fashion world. This is more of an ensemble piece so we do not get an actual main character. Instead, we jump from model to model as the story evolves. The cast is very stylish and great at weaving a web of mystery with tons of red herrings. The mystery is central to the movie, interrupted by lurid violence against women. One thing I noticed that amused me is all the smoking which is kind of a relic of days gone by in film. I also love the look of the killer whose likeness may have inspired the character Rohrschach from the Watchmen comics though I can’t prove it. I recommend this movie.

Music of the Week:

The Royal Foundry – Listen To The Beat

Avril Lavigne – Bois Lie (feat. Machine Gun Kelly)

GloRilla – Blessed

Ayra Starr – Rush

Mashup of the Week:

Jt brooks – Zombie on the Otherside

Weekly Update:

  • This week’s theme is “Giallo Week”
  • I watched a ton of YouTube and Twitch: Barry Kramer, Attorney Tom, Impact Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling, Emily D. Baker, Wendigoon, Tamara Chambers, LegalEagle, NWA, Dead Meat, Quinton Reviews, Drew Gamblord, Onsta, Savy Writes Books, Gabi Belle
  • I watched more Naomi Season 1
  • I watched more Batwoman Season 3
  • I watched more The Strain Season 1
  • I watched more She-Hulk: Attorney at Law
  • I watched more The Sandman Season 1
  • I watched more Riverdale Season 5
  • I watched more Legends of Tomorrow Season
  • I watched more The Flash Season 
  • I watched Evil Bong 888
  • I watched Blade: The Iron Cross
  • I watched Puppetmaster: Axis Rising
  • I watched Sons of Hercules: In the Lands of Darkness (Rifftrax Version)
  • I watched Cyber Tracker (Rifftrax version)
  • I watched The Million Eyes of Sumuru (Rifftrax Version)

Media Update 9/8/22

September 8, 2022

Graduation Day

All of this week’s movies were chosen by googling the theme as I try to do the same theme at this time every year. As graduation day approaches, members of a high school track team are murdered one by one. Does the killing have anything to do with a runner who dropped dead of a blood clot months ago? The movie is a great example of the whodunnit style of slasher movies where you try to figure out who the killer is. They do a great job of muddying the waters to make you scrutinize everybody. Patch Mackenzie is the standout of the movie as the sister of the deceased runner who is on leave from the naval academy. We also have the disgraced coach played by Christopher George who the town sees with blood on his hands after the runner’s freak death. The movie is well done and really feels like the final days of senior year. I recommend this movie.

Massacre at Central High

A young man moves to a new school but he has an in with the school bullies but when he turns them down, things start to get ugly. This ends up being a great sort of parable about how power corrupts. I also feel like somebody watched this before writing the video game Bully. The power dynamics of the school feel very real to the cliquish environment of high school and how most people are just keeping their heads down to get through it. The movie gets pretty dark. It is common knowledge in the film theory world that this movie directly inspired Heathers. Although, Heathers is a black comedy while this movie is very serious. Derrell Maury, Andrew Stevens, and a young Robert Carradine carry much of the weight of the movie. A lot of the movie hinges on the chemistry between Maury and Stevens. I recommend this movie.

Seance (2021)

Another movie with a deep mystery. At a girl’s boarding school, a young woman’s suicide sparks rumors of a vengeful ghost on campus. A new girl arrives and gets swept up in the mystery and horror. This is a pretty fun mystery that shows the dynamics of a friend group, one dominated by a bully and her friends who don’t want to be targets. Suki Waterhouse plays the new girl, a quiet yet tough girl who bucks the social order. Inanna Sarkis is really good at being queen bitch. Ella-Rae Smith is great as the shy and sweet girl that nobody wants to hurt. The movie has a lot of twists and turns and keeps the mystery alive of whether this is a supernatural or natural killer at work. Great camera work and suspicious behavior do a lot of work in keeping the viewer guessing. I recommend this movie.

Music of the Week:

Demi Lovato – EAT ME feat. Royal & the Serpent

Gorillaz – New Gold ft. Tame Impala & Bootie Brown

Black Eyed Peas, Farruko, David Guetta & Shakira – DONT YOU WORRY

Rema, Selena Gomez – Calm Down

Mashup of the Week:

DeadeyeDave3 – Harder Bodies

Weekly Update:

  • This week’s theme is “Back to School”
  • I watched a ton of YouTube and Twitch: Barry Kramer, Play Frame, Attorney Tom, Impact Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling, Cruel World Happy Mind, Emily D. Baker, Wendigoon, Rina de Coro, Tamara Chambers, LegalEagle, NWA, Jarvis Johnson, Gamblord, Dead Meat, Quinton Reviews, Gabi Belle
  • I watched more Legends of Tomorrow Season 6
  • I watched more Naomi Season 1
  • I watched more Batwoman Season 3
  • I watched more The Strain Season 1

Hard Rock Zombies (1985)(A Plot Rundown)(Major Spoilers)

September 5, 2022

Sometimes horror movies are so crazy that in order to truly process them, one must go back over them in detail. I really want to tell people about this movie because it is crazy and I believe that a lot of my friends would not watch it on their own. If you are inclined at any time to watch this movie, I would suggest that you do and join me in the experience. Those who want to save yourself 96 minutes are free to stick around and let me regale you. I’m thinking of doing this with other weird movies because the Internet needs to have a comprehensive record of the strange.

We start with a convertible cruising down a rural highway with some great eighties rock and roll playing not from the stereo but as background music. I like to imagine that they are actually driving in complete silence. These rocking dudes are in the car and obviously having a great time, though. We have no idea what their names are because they have zero lines in the film. The dudes see a young and leggy blonde woman on the side of the road and slow to a stop to pick her up. She excitedly gets in the car. 

Two little people up to no good.

We cut to a small lake or pond where three men in suits are cavorting around. Two of them are little people and one is tall. The tall one is looking around through binoculars. The driving trio stops at that same watering hole and they strip down. This gives us some cheap full frontal nudity as the lady does a quick striptease and gets into the water. She and one of the vaguely interchangeable guys swim about for a bit until she decides to playfully dunk him and then not so playfully hold him under until blood comes to the surface. The three men love what they see. The tall man is taking pictures. Somehow, the other guy did not notice what happened to his friend as the lady swims up to him. Without any preamble, she pushes him under the water and holds him down until blood rockets to the surface again. The opening song ends.

Back on the shore, the men have helped drag the bodies out of the water and haphazardly wrapped them in plastic. The men excitedly try to move the body but the woman grabs a knife and lops the body’s hand off at the wrist in one swing. She holds the hand up to her cheek dreamily and softly sings one line of “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”.

Because there has been almost a full minute without rock music blaring, we cut to a concert in progress. This is where we first see the heroes of our movie who are singing a pretty great tune. The band is made up of a bass player/singer/frontman, a drummer, a guitarist, and a keyboardist. The frontman is named Jessie and he is the creative and sensitive one. The rest are mostly interchangeable goofballs.  

A few minutes later, the song is over and we see the band getting changed backstage after their gig. They are tired but their manager/roadie tells them that they have to mingle with the groupies outside so that the wild pictures can make it into the magazines. In what must be a first, the guys vehemently argue against having to flirt with young ladies who already think they are cool. The manager states that if they won’t go out to the girls, he will just have to let them in the dressing room. The ladies flood the place and climb all over the four rockers whose protests seem to evaporate. The guys begrudgingly sign breasts and thighs as flirting continues. 

Jesse pushes his way through the crowd and finds peace in the hallway. He also finds a young, nervous girl. Jesse softens and asks if she wants to come in and meet the band. She instead warns him to not bring the band to their next gig in the town of Grand Guignol. The town does not want them there. The girl scurries away as Jessie is once again swarmed by groupies.

Cut to the band in their tour bus on the way to the gig in Grand Guignol. Jesse is noodling with a song that nobody else recognizes that sounds vaguely like Latin. He says that it is from a book written in the Middle Ages when people used it to bring the dead back to life. As he sings it, their manager repeatedly smacks the same mosquito which repeatedly comes back to life each time it dies.

They look ahead on the highway and spot the same woman from the opening who is more obviously hitchhiking. She climbs into their van and they start talking to her about the town of Grand Guignol and the warnings Jesse received the night before. The woman shrugs off the questions by being vague. The woman does not introduce herself immediately but her name is Elsa. 

Elsa is a creepy lady.

She invites the band to stay at her family’s home for free as it beats staying at a motel. The band agrees and they drive to the manor. We hear a howling sound as they pull up and see a female-presenting werewolf kind of wiggling as she howls. One of the little people from before walks up and asks if the band needs a hand. When they agree, he holds out a hand out for a handshake and it is the hand they cut off the body from earlier. This and the howling freaks the band out but Elsa smooths it over by calling the hand a toy and the howling her mother’s primal scream exercises. We briefly cut to Elsa and the little person putting the severed hand in a jar as Elsa once again sings. This time it is one line from “One Hand, One Heart”

We get another music video as the band parties it up in the town and has fun with the local teenagers (?) and people their age (?). Jesse spots the girl from the night before and chases her as she literally sprints away. He catches up to her just as she bumps into her father. Her father takes one look at Jesse and tells his daughter to go home. We learn that her name is Cassie. Jesse gets a little too big in his britches and boats a little about the concert scheduled for the next night. The father tells him that the concert will not happen.

Jesse returns to the band just in time to get arrested by the local sheriff for parking their van illegally. The band panics about their upcoming gig. Record executive Don Madson is coming to their gig and this is their big break. Cassie throws an envelope from outside into the cell and smiles at Jesse as he flirts with her. They continue on until her father chases her off. She tried to give them bail money but it is a pitiful 37 dollars. 

We cut to an old German main schtupping a woman elsewhere in the house. She says something about him being over ninety but still virile. The little people pop up and beg to watch. They are allowed.

Meanwhile, Elsa has bailed out the band. One of the band members gloats and they invite everybody to the show. The sheriff says that there will be no show. Jesse spots Cassie and goes to talk to her as Elsa watches disapprovingly. Jessie gives Cassie a keepsake and runs to catch up with the band. 

Back at the family manor, the band gears up for a sound test/private show for the family. The family watches with amusement as their gear malfunctions and the band collectively receives a massive electric shock. They console the band members and apologize.

We cut to an emergency meeting of the town council. They bicker about the arrival of the band and how it is affecting the youth in town. Ronnie is in attendance, apparently being the only one smart enough to see the trouble brewing. The clearly corrupt and insane town leadership votes to enact Statute 6969. Because rock leads to premarital sex and has demonic messages, the new statute will effectively ban it. All rock and roll materials in town are to be destroyed forthwith. Ronnie tries to speak up but is chased out of the meeting.

We cut to Jessie who is once again experimenting with the song that raises the dead. He smashes a tarantula and brings it back to life. We also see the human hand from earlier come alive in its jar.

As music plays, we go through a montage of two things: The first is the Family murdering the band members one by one. It is revealed that they have done this for a long time and keep photos of the murders and trophies from their victims. The grandmother turns into the werewolf we saw earlier. The other thing we see is the town destroying all manner of rock and roll paraphernalia in the middle of town. The violence from both is frenzied.

Cassie arrives to try and save Jessie. The two run through the woods and then hide. Jessie tells Cassie that he loves her and hands her a cassette tape to play if they catch Jessie. The two get split up and one of the Family catches Jessie and kills him with a weed whacker. 

The least offensive picture of Hitler in the movie that I could find.

We cut to Family dinner which is also attended by the Sheriff and Ronnie. The  Family thanks the Sheriff and the town council for supporting them. Now that Ronnie is out of a job, they offer him a job. Ronnie objects, saying his friends’ funerals were literally a few hours ago. Apparently, he has not found out how they died. A red light starts flashing and the grandfather excitedly jumps to his feet and unmasks. He is Adolf Hitler, hiding under a mask for decades. Nazi flags are unfurled and everybody is celebratory. He is filmed for a satellite feed where he says that he will be taking over California and tomorrow the World. 

We cut to Cassie sitting at the graves of the band members. She softly tells Jessie that she loves him and then plays the tape. The song causes the band to rise as zombies in corpsepaint and they march off, leaving Cassie behind. 

We cut back to Hitler who is giving a stunned Ronnie a tour of his facility which includes a working gas chamber and furnaces. An increasingly unhinged Ronnie turns down Hitler’s job offer and he is tied up to be killed. He is saved at the last moment by the zombie band. In a montage, Ronnie watches horrified as the band slaughters the entire Nazi family. 

Ronnie runs back into town and bursts in on members of the town council sitting around. Out of breath, he explains what happened. The eldest member of this small group (who is obviously Jewish) starts protesting how horrible that is. They approve of Nazi death, of course, but Hitler and his family become ghouls upon their death and their bite can create more ghouls. He also reveals that Hitler made a secret deal with Harry Truman to spare Hitler and Eva Braun’s lives. They snuck off to America to create a family. They need to act to stop a Nazi ghoul outbreak.

Back at the Manor, the Nazis rise where the band members killed them. They begin to murder anybody they run into, creating more ghouls.

Meanwhile, the band climbs into their van and heads off to do their concert. They arrive at the theater and set up and start to play. Cassie follows them. The record producer arrives but is oblivious to what is going on. He is the only one in the audience but shrugs and says it must be a tough town. He loves the band. The band sings a song apparently directed at Cassie and it is intercut with music video footage of Jessie and Cassie dancing in period costumes. 

We cut back to the ghouls killing people. We also see Ronnie and the townspeople trying to prepare for an assault on the Manor. Also, one of the little people finds himself tasty and starts eating his own extremities. We cut back to the band still playing and the record producer on the phone doing comedy schtick. The ghouls have invaded the town. The townspeople start dying because they misinterpreted old wives’ tales about the ghouls. The town is now overrun. The ghouls burst into the theater and chase off the record producer and Cassie barely escapes.

Back in town, Ronnie and the remaining townspeople are frantically trying to figure out what to do. One of them speaks of a tale that says that if they let the ghouls ravish and devour a live virgin, the ghouls will rest for 100 years. At that point, it’s somebody else’s problem. Cassie arrives at the shelter. 

The record producer offers the band a contract but they tiredly get back into their van and drive off leaving the producer to get devoured by ghouls. The one little person is still eating his own body. The band returns to their graves.

The townspeople tie up Cassie as an offering to the ghouls. Objecting, Ronnie frantically goes to the band’s graves and begs them to get up for one more show. They begrudgingly rise from their graves and listen to their manager one last time. The band starts to play the magic song again, this time summoning the ghouls to them just as they are about to reach Cassie. Ronnie frees Cassie. The band leads the ghouls into the underground of the Manor. The horde follows them into the gas chamber which Ronnie activates from outside. The ghouls are all utterly destroyed by the gas. The one little person finishes eating himself, leaving behind only a skull.

Cassie and Ronnie mourn their friends once again at the cemetery. As Cassie leans down and tells Jessie that he will always be the only one for her and that she will return to visit him often. Jessie’s hand rises from the grave and she rubs her cheek against it. 

The end

Friday the 13th: Jason in Time (Movie Pitch) Pt. 2

August 20, 2022

See Pt. 1 here.

Crystal Lake Area – Exterior

Renata talks with her superiors. The FBI is under the impression that this and the events of Jason Goes to Hell can be attributed to a Jason copycat. There is a history of Jason copycats. The one that was destroyed in 2003 is never coming back. It is medically impossible. Renata tells him that she knows what she saw. They tell her that she just bought into the legend and to stay on mission.

The mission goes poorly. They come upon Jason Reborn and get into attack position. They begin to fight but Nanotech Jason suddenly appears and flanks the group. As the agents regroup, the two Jasons regard each other. There is an air of recognition but also confusion. It looks like they might actually fight each other when the FBI attacks. The two Jasons work independently and thrash the FBI agents. Nanotech Jason grabs Renata by the neck and throws her off of a cliff. 

Camp Crystal Lake – Camp Lodge Interior

Tommy is flabbergasted at there being two Jasons and everybody else is too. However, Creighton presses Rowan on her lack of reaction to the second Jason. After intense grilling, Rowan relents and explains her story and the origin of Uber Jason. KM reminds Rowan of the timeline and Tommy asks about the timeline. He puts together that if Jason was captured in 2008 and frozen in 2010, he doesn’t end here. Rowan confirms this. Everybody is dispirited. She feels for them but she feels like they are doomed. Everybody splits up.

Tommy, Jessica, and Rowan sip whiskey together and talk about knowing Jason so intimately. Duke comforts Billy over the death of his friends. KM pulls Tina aside and lets her know that KM’s scans have revealed that Tina has a small blockage in blood vessels near her brain and that would account for her powers being blocked. Since the timeline is no longer a concern, she could repair that damage and restore Tina’s powers. Tina thinks about it and then agrees. KM places her palm on Tina’s forehead and humming noise and lights are produced. Tina says she feels much better. As she walks off, Tommy and Rowan ask KM what she did. KM says she did nothing. Tina had no physical damage and therefore KM deduced that the problem was psychological. Their odds of success go up dramatically if everybody is at full power.

Tommy rallies his troops and says that they have to fight. They can’t give up and just let the Jasons kill them all. If they let the Jasons win, many more people will die. A more confident Tina agrees and says that she is ready to go. Billy wants revenge for his friends. Everybody gets fired up and Rowan says that maybe the addition of her and KM will change things. Maybe changing the timeline is the right thing to do.

Tommy gets on the public address system and calls out Jason, telling him to come to mommy. The group moves toward the location of Jason’s shack. Inside is the shrine to Pamela Voorhes, including her head. It also has the body of his mother’s killer, Alice Hardy, and two other bodies. 

As Tommy sets the shack on fire, he thanks Ginny for revealing the location and contents of the shack. 

Jason Reborn shows up to find Billy beckoning him in front of the shack. Jason moves to kill Billy but Billy is fired up and starts beating the crap out of Jason with a baseball bat with nails in it. The others box Jason in. Jason kills Billy. Everybody opens fire on Jason with the energy weapons doing the bulk of the damage. Jason fights back but this time he is overwhelmed. He keeps looking back at the shack, emotionally torn between his mother burning and fighting for his own life. Tommy picks up Jason’s machete from the shrine and cuts open Jason’s back with it. Jessica stabs her dagger right between Jason’s eyes. Tina uses her powers and shoves Jason into the flaming shack. A flaming Jason runs out of the shack but he is decapitated by the sudden arrival of Uber Jason who then kicks Jason Reborn back into the burning shack.

Jessica pulls the dagger out of Jason Reborn’s head and kicks it back into the burning shack. Duke throws a grenade into the shack which enrages Uber Jason. That was his mother too. Jason swings his machete at Creighton and barely misses. Jessica lunges with the dagger but is caught by the throat and slammed into Duke. As a doctor, Rowan rushes to help them but is caught by Jason who begins to choke her out. A harpoon impales Jason from behind and Renata has arrived, still moving in an injured state. Jason pulls the harpoon out and the wound closes instantly. He resumes choking Rowan.

Jason’s fingers slowly release Rowan’s throat as we see that Tina is exerting her will. Rowan drops to the ground and rolls away. Tina uses her abilities to beat the crap out of Uber Jason, similar to their earlier fight. This allows the others a chance to recover. However, the damage from Tina’s attack is healed just as easily. Tommy goes to get Jessica and Creighton back on their feet. KM jumps on Uber Jason’s back. He fights hard to get her off and ends up knocking her head off with a back elbow. KM’s body glows and explodes and the nanotechnology falls off of Uber Jason. Creighton and Tommy take out Jason’s legs from behind. Renata shoots Jason through the forehead at point blank range.

Jason still struggles to get back to his feet but Tina holds him there. Jessica stabs him with the dagger and the souls of those Jason has killed swirl around them all. Tina shoves Jason into the still-burning shack. Everybody sits back and watches it burn. “Do you think that did it?” Tommy asks. “I hope so,” Creighton says. “I’m getting too old for this.”   Tina says “I don’t sense them anymore.”


Renata claims that this time, the government is going to listen to her about the threat of Jason Voorhees. Tommy, Jessica, Creighton, and Tina all agree to testify. Rowan says that she would testify but it complicates things that there is another her out there. They mourn the fallen but after a long moment of silence, they hear KM shouting. Her head survived again and Rowan happily cradles it. They ask Rowan and KM what they will do. Rowan says that the timeline has undoubtedly changed and she and KM come from a future that probably doesn’t exist anymore. As if on cue, Rowan and KM start to fade away. Rowan declares that it was worth it and that the new timeline should be much happier for everyone. She hurriedly tells Renata about the corrupt Dr. Wimmer and to investigate him and anybody else involved should Jason come back. The two of them completely fade away. Everybody else makes a promise to be there if Jason does come back. 

Casting: (If the movie had been filmed in 2004):

  • Uber Jason – Kane Hodder, James Preston Rogers, Matthew G. Taylor
  • Jason Reborn – Ken Kirzinger, Derek Mears, Glenn Jacobs
  • Renata Dario – Jordana Brewster, Marisa Ramirez, Dania Ramirez
  • Owen Argento – Rupert Evans, Dustin Milligan, Lochlyn Munro
  • Billy Campbell – Tyler Labine, Tuc Watkins, Stephen Dunham
  • Billy’s friends – Zoë Bell, Spice Williams, Jennifer Caputo, Nathan Jones, Mike Knox, Jason Arhndt

Director: Josh Becker, Bruce Campbell, Adam Marcus

Why I Love Pro-Wrestling: The Strange Tale of Bray Wyatt Pt. 2

August 15, 2022

Possessed By Sister Abigail

Braun Strowman broke free of the cult and Rowan was banished after too many failures. Bray Wyatt found a new member in The Viper Randy Orton. The devious Orton pledged himself to the Wyatt Family leading to success. However, at the first opportunity, Orton betrayed Wyatt after eliminating Luke Harper. Orton went to the Wyatt compound and he burned it down, making special care to violate the grave of Sister Abigail. Sister Abigail had been the source of Wyatt’s power. He went to the compound and smeared its ashes on his body. It was revealed that Sister Abigail was a demon and Wyatt took her completely into his body, becoming possessed. He faced Orton in an otherworldly “House of Horrors” and defeated the snake. Wyatt remained in an unstable state with Sister Abigail within him.

The Wyatt/Abigail amalgam soon picked a fight with the heroic Finn Balor. The feud with the dangerous and violent new Bray Wyatt forced Finn to fight fire with fire. Finn drew on his own demon persona, a choice he was always reluctant to make,  to fight Wyatt. The Demon handily beat Wyatt leaving Wyatt fanatical and bitter. He kept saying that Balor could not possibly beat him without The Demon, playing on Balor’s personal pride. Balor responded that he was an ordinary man who could do extraordinary things and faced Wyatt again without The Demon. Balor was able to defeat Wyatt by himself, sending Wyatt further into his spiral. 


Bray Wyatt next clashed with Matt Hardy with Wyatt having the upper hand early on in their feud. Wyatt’s defeat of Hardy was so brutal that it re-awakened a version of the Broken Matt personality now known as “Woken” Matt Hardy. Hardy himself was knowledgeable about the supernatural as he was possessed by the soul called ZENITH which had existed since 7 A.D. only recently making Hardy its host, giving him “broken brilliance”. That connection helped Hardy beat Wyatt in a Final Deletion match, meant to eliminate whoever lost. Hardy won and then pushed Wyatt into the Lake of Reincarnation on the Hardy compound. Wyatt vanished.

Wyatt surprisingly returned to assist Matt Hardy instead of harming him. Wyatt’s reincarnation had purged the succubus Sister Abigail from him and left him clean and good for the first time in a long time. At that point, ZENITH and Hardy helped rehabilitate Bray Wyatt who welcomed the ancient spirit of Samael within him. Now a good guy, Bray formed a successful team with Hardy known as the Deleter of Worlds. They won the tag team titles together and everything was great until Broken Matt quietly disappeared.

The Firefly Fun House and the Fiend

Something was very wrong with Bray Wyatt. He had vanished for quite some time when troubling vignettes started to appear on television. Bray reappeared in a red sweater in segments of what could only be described as his version of a children’s show. He was accompanied by several puppet characters a la Pee Wee’s Playhouse or Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. He was constantly smiling and unceasingly positive as he talked about rediscovering himself. It would have all been very pleasant except that there was a dark edge underneath it all. Nobody knew what to think of these strange interruptions  Bray seemed unstable and it became increasingly obvious that the puppet characters were pieces of his past, his very soul. Mercy the Buzzard, Ramblin’ Rabbit, Abby the Witch, and Huskus the Pig were all his past that was still a part of them.

The “good” news according to Bray was that he had found a way to focus his darkness in order to protect his happy new world. This so-called focus seemed to result in a sharp division of Wyatt’s character. Bray Wyatt, the host of the Firefly Fun House, could be happy, weird, and teach kids lessons. His other side, The Fiend soon emerged and it did not seem to be a protector. The Fiend seemed to be a predator, single-mindedly brutalizing whoever it could get its hands on. The grotesque monster seemed set on the domination of the WWE just like the prior incarnations of Bray Wyatt. This time he was unstoppable and he implored the WWE fans to “Let Him In”.

Eventually, the loveable and playful Bray Wyatt also started to wrestle. He did not want to dominate, he was always trying to “help”. The biggest example of this is his match with John Cena at Wrestlemania. The two of them had clashed before but Cena was not prepared for the new Bray Wyatt. The Fiend was something Cena could understand. Cena never backed down from a fight and had slain more than his share of monsters. However, this time Wyatt attacked John’s mind and soul, pulling him into the extradimensional Firefly Fun House and walking through Cena’s psyche blended with his own. The attack and victory were existential and it took quite some time for Cena to recover.

Passing on The Madness

Wyatt then moved on to feud with Braun Strownman, a monster of a man who had once been his follower. Wyatt attempted to get into Strowman’s head, calling the past back up to show their connection and Wyatt’s superiority. He did not pull him into the Fun House but it was very similar. Strowman had grown as a monster among men and he shook off Wyatt’s influence.   When that plan did not work, Wyatt even summoned his Eater of Worlds persona from the past to fight Strowman in a swamp. It was time to unleash The Fiend. The monster attacked Alexa Bliss, somebody Strowman had befriended and shown affection for. The Fiend kept involving Bliss, forcing Strowman to step in. Braun and The Fiend fought tooth and nail with The Fiend winning Strowman’s championship belt.

Following this, The Fiend whisked Alexa Bliss away and she began to take on a more insane appearance and demeanor. She began to appear on the Firefly Fun House alongside Bray, fully part of his world. She also took on elements of The Fiend but her power source seemed to be a mysterious doll named Lilly.

The Fiend and Bray Wyatt reignited their feud with Randy Orton which quickly became extremely violent. Eventually, the two faced each other and Orton set The Fiend on fire, banishing The Fiend. Alexa Bliss haunted Orton in the meantime until a charred version of The Fiend returned to protect her from Orton. However, it was a trap. Alexa used her powers to weaken The Fiend so Orton could finish him off. Bray Wyatt appeared one more time to say how excited he was for a fresh start and then he never showed up again.

Friday the 13th: Jason in Time (Movie Pitch) Pt. 1

August 13, 2022

Cast of Characters:

From Earlier Films:

Jason Reborn – After the events of Jason Goes to Hell in 2003, Jason has once again clawed his way to the land of the living thanks to Freddy Krueger

Uber Jason – The killer Jason Voorhees whose undead body merged with nanotechnology to become even more of an apex predator. 

Creighton Duke – The bounty hunter who helped kill Jason the last time. He barely survived his injuries from his last fight with Jason.

Ginny Fields – One of the original survivors of Jason back in 1984. She has since followed her dream of becoming a child psychologist.

Jessica Kimble – One of the two last blood relations to Jason Voorhees and survivor of Jason’s last known rampage.

KM-14 – An android from the future who fought Jason and barely survived. She is dedicated to stopping the threat of Nanotech Jason.

Reggie Winter – Fought a copycat Jason alongside Tommy but is ready to tackle the real thing.

Rowan LaFontaine – A scientist from the 21st century who was stabbed by Jason and frozen only to be defrosted in the future to face Jason. She is dedicated to stopping Jason.

Tina Rogers née Shepard – A young woman with psychic powers who once defeated Jason. 

Tommy Jarvis – He was a troubled young man who had encountered Jason twice but failed to kill him. Probably the foremost expert in surviving Jason Voorhees since most others are dead

New Characters:

Agent Renata Dario – An FBI agent investigating the Crystal Lake site after alerts went off.

Billy Campbell – A local interested in getting rid of Jason to avenge the dead who are not acknowledged as much. He believes that Jason is a sickness.

Officer Owen Argento – A security officer from the future tasked with disposing of Jason’s body in the sun. 

The year 2455 – On a Ship in Deep Space – Interior

KM-14 and Rowan LaFontaine have assisted in the effort on Earth 2 to clean up what was left of the remains of Jason Voorhees. They convinced the government of the severity of the situation by showing footage of Jason’s attack on their ship. Rowan insisted on accompanying the disposal mission to dump Jason into a nearby star. KM-14 accompanied her just in case things got out of hand again. While en route, a space anomaly causes power on the ship to fluctuate including the containment field around Jason’s remains. Rowan and KM-14 rush to that area. As they work with Owen Argento to assess the risk, the anomaly further activates and that section of the ship is completely destroyed.

The year 2006 – Crystal Lake – Exterior

The serene surface of the lake is disturbed by bubbling and then a large hand reaches above the surface. 

The year 2006 -Blairstown, NJ  – Exterior

Tommy Jarvis arrives at the house of Tina and Nick Rogers.  Tina is sitting out on the porch. He asks if she was expecting him but she simply smiles and says it is a nice day  She offers him some lemonade. Tommy is there because Tina would not answer his messages. She simply ignored them. She is done with Jason. Tommy points out that she gave Jason the toughest fight of anybody else. He thinks that Jason is back. They have a responsibility to end him. She refuses. Tommy asks her to at least reach out and see if Jason is back. Tina states that doing so might draw Jason to her. Tommy points out that she and Nick could have moved far away from Crystal Lake but they settled nearby. Tina relents and reaches out with her mind and confirms that Jason is back but she feels something is very wrong. Tommy asks if he is back at Crystal Lake. Tina says yes… and no. She cannot make sense of what she feels and that troubles her.  Tommy pleads with her to go to Crystal Lake with him. He has some people for her to meet. If 

The year 2006 – A secluded beach in New Jersey – Exterior

Rowan wakes up and stumbles to her feet in an unknown place, her vision blurry at first. The ruins of the spaceship section are half on the sand and half in the water. She searches for the others and finds Owen and pulls him out of the water. Thankfully, he did not drown. The two of them find KM and are able to reactivate her. She informs them that they are on Earth and not Earth 2. They are startled to find out that they have appeared in 2006. Owen marvels that this is what Earth looked like when it was still livable. They find that Jason’s containment field is empty. Rowan knows where Jason would go

A gym in Crystal Lake – Interior

Tina arrives and walks into a gym full of faces familiar to fans of the franchise. Creighton, Tommy, Jessica, Ginny, and Reggie have all been seen before. Billy is a new face. They settle into a circle of chairs. One by one, they talk about their experiences with Jason as the audience sees brief clips of the events of Friday the 13th Parts 1 and 2, The Final Chapter, A New Beginning, Jason Lives, and Jason Goes to Hell. Tommy fills in bits he has learned from Part 3 and Jason Takes Manhattan. He mentions that a fence has been erected around the whole area after a recent incident (referring to the conclusion of Freddy vs. Jason). Tommy introduces Billy who is a local and is there to represent the town of Crystal Lake, unofficially of course. Billy says that he’s got two others he plans to bring along.

A small town in New Jersey – Exterior

The time travelers have obtained clothes of the time and are walking down the street. They talk about making as few changes in the timeline as possible. Owen points out that the cat may already be out of the bag since Uber Jason won’t be concerned about the timeline. Besides that, they need to get to Crystal Lake. Rowan relents and they have KM steal a truck from a nearby lot. They drive off toward Crystal Lake.

Camp Crystal Lake – Exterior

Tina and Tommy get through the fence and arrive at Camp Crystal Lake. They sit and talk for a moment as they contemplate the dilapidated buildings of Camp Crystal Lake (with graffiti saying Camp Blood) and all of the memories there. Tina points out that there must have been good memories before Jason. Tommy says that if they remove Jason, there will be nothing standing in the way of the good memories coming back. The curse of Crystal Lake will be over. Tina reveals that she is a bit rusty with her powers. Tommy assures her that it will be alright but that he’s counting on her.

Everybody else pulls up in two cars. They climb out of the car and Tommy gives a pep talk as de facto leader. They all have what it takes for a final confrontation with Jason. 

Somewhere in New Jersey – Exterior

A group of teens is having a party in a clearing. Two young lovers walk off into the woods and the guy blindfolds the girl. [The film audience is vicariously blindfolded] After a few beats she hears a horrible scream. She lifts the blindfold to see her boyfriend impaled on a tree branch next to her. She screams and looks around wildly and sees red eyes light up in the shadows. Cut to her running into the clearing when she is hit behind by a thrown machete. Uber Jason strides into the clearing and starts to slaughter teens as they try and flee. The violence is sudden, chaotic, and gory. There are no survivors.

Camp Crystal Lake – Exterior

The support group is walking along the trail. Renata shouts at them to freeze and announces herself as an FBI agent. They are a highly suspicious and well-armed group in a site deemed off-limits by the FBI. Tommy admits that she is right but points out that it is off-limits because of Jason. Renata brushes this aside. Tina says that Jason is back. Renata blurts out that Jason Voorhees is dead. Tina insists that he is back and Jessica backs her up. Tommy asks Renata what she is doing at the camp. Not that it is their business but she is there to check on several tripped motion sensors. Isaiah jokes that this was a fast response. Renata states that, unless the group had been down by the water, it was not them. Everybody looks at each other and Renata runs off toward the lake telling the group to stay put. Tommy says there’s no chance of that and Creighton helps rally the group toward the lake.

Renata finds Jason Reborn standing by the lake, staring out at the still water. She tells him to freeze and stand down. He turns as the others arrive. Renata is annoyed but also a little grateful. They aim their weapons at Jason but he approaches anyway. Renata gives a warning but Tommy’s crew just starts firing. The battle begins and the group is terrorized by an absolutely feral Jason Voorhees. Tommy calls on Tina to put a stop to it but her powers falter. Ginny, Reggie, and Billy’s two friends are killed in the battle.  As things look grim, a truck plows into Jason but the impact merely staggers him. Owen and KM pop out and fire their weapons at Jason. The energy weapons kick up a lot of smoke which allows Jason to disappear. The others are stunned but they are beckoned into and onto the truck. At the last moment, Owen is stabbed from behind by Jason and the rest of the group drives away.

Camp Crystal Lake – Camp Lodge Interior

Tommy points out that Jason is smarter than he looks and will have retreated temporarily to regroup and assess the new threat. They barely made a scratch and Jason could have easily killed them all. They take a moment to mourn those who did die. The group realizes that the newcomers have disappeared.

In another room, Rowan and KM talk again about being in the past and that they have to be careful. Rowan knows that the group fails to end Jason because of the incident that led to her being frozen in the first place. She laments that they have to deal with two Jasons now. Their priority target remains Uber Jason. KM does not like the odds of success.

They are interrupted by Tommy and Jessica who ask them to join the group. They are grateful for the rescue but suspicious of these newcomers. Tommy reveals that most people there are survivors of Jason. Rowan says that applies to her and KM as well. Owen was just along for the ride. 

Renata has no idea what she has gotten into. The others tell her the basic story of Jason. He was a kid who died in the lake, he rose again as an adult zombie, and each time he falls, he rises again even more powerful. Renata claims that the FBI destroyed Jason. Jessica walks her through his resurrection. He is way more powerful than the government could ever know. Rowan blurts out that the government will know about it but is able to play it off as a plan to let the government know the entire truth about Jason. The group agrees but Tommy insists that it won’t be necessary if they do their job right. Rowan hides her reaction, knowing that they will not succeed.

Tommy pulls Tina aside and asks her what went wrong out there. Tina tells him again that she is rusty as she abandoned her powers after fighting Jason last time. Tommy tells her that they need her badly, more than he thought. Jessica overhears and interrupts and yells at Tommy for hinging his plan entirely on Tina. She points out that the mystic dagger combined with her blood is supposed to be the only thing that really works. Tommy points out that only 3 years have passed but Tommy put Jason down for five. Jessica points out that Tommy also brought Jason back too. Tina yells at them to stop and a surge of power goes through the room. Tommy and Jessica smile and Tommy says that they might have a chance after all.

Creighton bursts in to tell them that Renata has run off. Renata’s FBI backup has arrived and she went off with them to track down Jason. KM is able to alter some old camp radio equipment so that they can listen to FBI communications.

Media Update 8/4/22

August 4, 2022

Summer Camp (2015)

This movie seems to be very overlooked as I do not see a lot of hoopla for it online. I never heard of it even as an avid horror movie fan. There is not even a Wikipedia article for the movie which is kind of par for the course. Four American counselors show up to prepare for a summer camp session in Spain to teach local kids English. Things get chaotic when something gets into their environment. The four main characters have really great chemistry together and really carry the movie along well. Diego Boneta plays the somewhat nerdy, kind-hearted guy. Andrés Velencoso plays the playful ladies’ man. Maiara Walsh plays the bouncy, playful girl. Jocelin Donahue plays the straight-laced serious girl. The movie had a lot of twists and turns that I did not expect and the pacing was pretty much perfect. I recommend this movie.


This is also somehow an obscure movie. While it has a Wikipedia page, I cannot find a good trailer on YouTube for it but I can find the whole movie there for free. This was a purely independent movie in the eighties so that makes sense. A group of young people at a wilderness survival training camp have to deal with the vengeance of a local gone crazy. This is definitely an ensemble piece with few standouts but the hokey acting was great. The deaths were a lot of gory fun. I also like the costuming for the movie’s villain. I recommend this movie.

The Burning

I had heard of this one for a while but finally got access to it so I was happy to watch it since it is so heavily lauded with praise. A group of campers on a canoe trip get stalked by a disfigured camp caretaker with thoughts of revenge. This is the film debut of Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens, and Holly Hunter. Alexander in particular has a huge role as the class clown camper that everybody looks to for moral support in the crisis. Brian Backer is arguably the hero of the movie as the awkward kid that nobody believes. Brian Matthews is a brave and strong head counselor. Larry Joshua plays the meathead bully. Michelle is the no-nonsense head female counselor. I really liked the brutal gore in the movie which had impressive practical effects. I recommend this movie.

Music of the Week:

Gorillaz – Cracker Island ft. Thundercat

Camila Cabello, Maria Becerra – Hasta Los Dientes

Conan Gray – Disaster

blackbear – queen of broken hearts

Mashup of the Week:

Lil Tarantula – I Knew You Were Trouble

Weekly Update:

  • This week’s theme is “Fun at Camp”
  • I watched a ton of YouTube and Twitch: Game Grumps, Barry Kramer, Gabi Belle, Attorney Tom, Impact Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling, Cruel World Happy Mind, Emily D. Baker, Super Horror Bro, GTLive, Wendigoon, Conaco, LS Mark
  • I watched more Riverdale Season 5
  • I watched more Umbrella Academy Season 3
  • I watched more The Flash Season 8
  • I watched more Legends of Tomorrow Season 6
  • I watched more Naomi Season 1
  • I started watching Found! Season 1
  • I started watching Top Secret UFO Projects: Declassified

Why I Love Pro-Wrestling: The Strange Tale of Bray Wyatt Pt. 1

August 1, 2022

This is a kayfabe rundown of the character known as Bray Wyatt. Wyatt was portrayed by
Windham Rotunda, son of Mike Rotunda, brother of Bo Dallas, grandson of Blackjack Mulligan, nephew of Kendall and Barry Windham. He is a third-generation pro-wrestler who seems to approach it as much as performance art as an athletic spectacle. His greatest creation to date is the ever-evolving Bray Wyatt, a project that seems to be over as he has left WWE at least for the time being. Sometimes polarizing, Windham never failed to create a reaction. If Bray Wyatt rises again, at least I will have gotten some of the lore down.

The Backwoods Cult Leader

Bray Wyatt first appeared on WWE’s training ground Florida Championship Wrestling. He appeared in what would become his signature style of a fedora hat, Hawaiian shirt, and scruffy beard. On paper, he sounds like a beach bum but Wyatt always had a sinister feel to him. From the very start, Bray Wyatt had the same feel to him as the character of Max Cady from the 1991 version of Cape Fear. Wyatt was menacing but charismatic, not somebody to be taken lightly even though he did not have as impressive of a physique as traditional wrestlers. He is deceptively fast and opportunistic in the ring.

After FCW was rebranded as NXT, Bray Wyatt became more powerful even as he was injured and prevented from wrestling for a time. He recruited two men who he referred to as his first and second sons. They were Luke Harper and Erick Rowan and the trio was known as The Wyatt Family in the styling of The Manson Family. Wyatt’s sons were undyingly loyal to him. They seemed to be unhinged with not a lot going on upstairs besides whatever Wyatt willed them to do. The Wyatt family became a dominant force with Wyatt as the crown jewel of this filthy, dangerous cult. 

The trio debuted in vignettes on Monday Night Raw that introduced the wider world to Wyatt’s message.

Eater of Worlds

When the Wyatt Family made their actual debut on Raw, it became clear that Bray Wyatt was more than just some backwoods cult leader. His words became increasingly more violent and cryptic, like an evil Jim Morrison. He began to refer to himself as the Eater of Worlds, a sort of proclamation that felt like he was the face of a new cosmic horror. He would often have one of his sons carry a rocking chair to the ring for him so that he could sit and watch them destroy their enemies. He would delight in the mayhem and then swoop in to provide the finishing blow before reveling in the violence. At this point, it did not seem to matter if Wyatt and his family won or lost matches. Rather than lose, they would often get disqualified and brutalize their victims anyway. His victory seemed inevitable and he was having fun getting there. He also kept mentioning Sister Abigail (it was also the name of his finishing move) which was a mystery. If opponents wanted to find him, Wyatt said that they could “Follow the Buzzards”. We all know what attracts buzzards and vultures.

Their first feud was with Kane. The Family debuted with an attack on Kane. They continued to attack wrestlers at random all while imploring Kane to come and find them. Kane reemerged and the trio obliterated the usually dominant demon and made him look helpless. They even defeated him in a ring of fire match. After defeating him, they beat Kane down, and kidnapped him, leading to his disappearance for a time. They next went after the happy-go-lucky Kofi Kingston who they also destroyed. 

It was here that The Wyatt Family received their first resistance in the face of the united front of Daniel Bryan and CM Punk. The two were recognized as some of the greatest skilled wrestlers ever with Byan claiming to be the GOAT (Greatest of All Time) and CM Punk claiming to be the Best in the World. Unfortunately for Bryan, CM Punk became distracted by his own problems with the WWE Authority and left the company. The Wyatt Family preyed on Bryan and beat him down until he agreed to join them. The four members continued their reign of terror but eventually, Bryan had enough of being picked on by Harper and Rowan and broke free of Wyatt’s programming.

Soon after this, the Wyatt Family briefly clashed with the Authority’s The Shield by disrupting the Authority’s designs against Bryan, John Cena, and Sheamus. This showed that the Family was villainous but not aligned with the totalitarian leaders of the company. In fact, they ended up helping Daniel Bryan but that was an incidental side effect of their true mission.

The Whole World In His Hands

The Wyatt Family had targetted John Cena. He was the wholesome, G-Rated face of the company. Super Cena always overcame the odds and lived by the phrases “Hustle Loyalty Respect”, “Never Give Up”, and “Rise Above Hate”. He was the perfect target for the Wyatt Family. By this time, the WWE fans were solidly divided between those who loved Cena and those who hated him. Wyatt wanted Cena to finally unleash his inner darkness and constantly tried to goad him into giving in to being a monster. When that did not work, Wyatt went after one of Cena’s few weak points. He went after the hearts and minds of the kids. The fans were divided but the kids always loved Cena and Cena took that to heart. For example, John Cena has consistently broken records at the Make A Wish Foundation. Wyatt caused people to cheer for him and to sing for him. A real battle for the hearts and minds of the WWE fans. He seemed to have a hypnotic power over his growing cult. Members of the cult signified their support by raising their cell phone flashlights in the darkness, referred to as “fireflies”.

The New Face of Fear

Wyatt announced that he had let his sons, Harper and Rowan go. He claimed to have fixed them and they were now free to roam. This allowed Wyatt to focus more on fixing others like he did Rowan and Harper. His efforts were not successful but he left his mark on everybody he feuded with. At this point, he also began to taunt the Undertaker leading up to a casket match at Wrestlemania. After a hellish battle, Undertaker prevailed and Wyatt faded away for the moment.

It was not long before Wyatt returned but he did not return alone. Harper and Rowan returned to the Family, having had their own feuds and adventures. The Family was also joined by Braun Strowman which gave the Wyatt Family even more muscle.

His next big feud was with the legendary Brothers of Destruction. The Wyatt Family targeted the demon Kane first, with Wyatt claiming that he was far more powerful than Hell’s Favorite Demon. The Wyatt Family defeated Kane, beat him down, and then carried him off to parts unknown. Kane disappeared which brought out Kane’s brother, The Undertaker. Unlike so many others, Wyatt was not afraid of The Deadman. He was happy to pit his forces against the supernatural dangers of the famous zombie sorcerer. Kane reemerged and the Wyatt Family faced The Brothers of Destruction. When the Wyatt Family defeated Kane and the Undertaker, Wyatt demonstrated that he had stolen their powers. He had Kane’s power of fire generation and Undertaker’s control over thunder and lightning. 

Bray Wyatt and his Family continued to feud with other groups. This included facing off with The New Day. It was the power of positivity coming into conflict with the sinister Wyatt Family. The two factions were opposites of each other but neither side was willing to back down. It culminated in a horror movie of a match at the Wyatt compound.

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Life is a story. Might as well write it.

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Art, Poetry, Prose, Spirituality & Whimsy

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