Posts Tagged ‘Jurrasic World’

Top 11 Fictional Jobs I Might Want

February 18, 2017

I am currently working at a paralegal internship and soon I will get undoubtedly get a job in the legal field. This got me thinking about where I might have ended up if things had gone differently. Of course, they have gone differently in the past, leading to my rather eclectic list of former jobs. But I started to think about my favorite television shows and movies and the jobs fictional characters have. What if I could have any job even a fictional one? Here is a list of the top 11 fictional jobs I might want.


11. Grim Reaper
(Dead Like Me)

In the world of Dead Like Me, dead people who are not ready to pass on can be chosen to act as reapers which is way more peaceful than you would expect. With a simple touch, a reaper takes a person’s soul just before they die. Doing so makes sure that the person feels no pain when they die which helps with their transition to the next step. One of the cool things would be that I would suddenly be in a peer group that included a mish mash of different people from very different time periods. So, I could hang out with a young hippie from the sixties along with an ex-thug from the twenties. It would be a very rewarding job. Everybody has to die someday and, in the world of Dead Like Me, people are destined to die at a specific time and place. So, without any reason to think I could prevent death, I would want to make that experience as comfortable as possible. If possible, I would want to be assigned to the accidents and misfortunes department like the characters of Dead Like Me. The big downsides are that I would never see or talk to my friends and family again and I would have to die to get hired. Those are huge downsides.


10. Stargate Program Researcher
(From Stargate SG-1)

One of my favorite aspects of watching Stargate SG-1 is watching the team encounter new worlds with new cultures and civilizations. In the movie and on the television show, I admired Daniel Jackson because he was using years of study to help unravel ancient mysteries that had to do with both peaceful and hostile aliens. I would love to work with a lower priority SG team so I could get off Earth and explore the ruins of alien cultures that influenced cultures back on my home planet. Of course, things are bound to get dangerous with the Goa’uld and other hazards but that would be a risk that I could live with in order to do such important work. Of course, I do not know how well I would do in a military system. Daniel Jackson was afforded certain freedoms and exceptions that I feel I would not receive as Jackson was one of the first people to crack the stargate technology. I think I would learn to adapt but obviously, it would not be my first choice.


9. Auror
(From Harry Potter)

While I am much more interested in defending people than prosecuting people these days, I do recognize the importance of law enforcement. In the world of the Potterverse, Aurors are basically a magical version of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. They use magic and their wits to track criminals who are abusing magical abilities or using forbidden spells. I feel like an Auror book or movie should be in the making. Fantastic Beasts broached the subject but it was only the B-plot but the theme in Harry Potter was that authority is not to be trusted. I think I would be a great investigator but I have already read too many mystery books and movies. The Aurors in America seemed pretty uniform but they were also given a lot of leeway in the way they investigated crimes. In England, I would have been a Ravenclaw but here in America, those qualities would carry over. I would know the spells I needed to defend myself and disable fleeing or combative criminals. It would be a dangerous job but I would think with proper training I could manage things. One might be afraid of a Voldemort or Grindelwald situation but those situations seem to be few and far between for the wizarding world.


8. Jurassic World Tour Guide
(Jurassic World)

Jurassic World exists 22 years after everything originally went to crap in the first movie/book. It is a pristine theme park where you can observe a lot of dinosaurs in realistic settings with little to no danger. These behemoths are kept at bay by state of the art technology and qualified professionals. The only reason that goes badly is the reason it always went badly: somebody gets greedy. If that had not happened, the park was an efficient machine that was more nature preserve than zoo although there was plenty of allusions to zoos and aquariums. There is also the issue that the things in the park are not real dinosaurs. They are featherless hybrid creations but if I was watching their T-Rex in action, I would not really care. The awesome power of these creatures would be so interesting to be around all the time. Watching people’s faces as they see one for the first time would be amazing. Learning everything I could about them so that I could explain to park visitors would be pretty cool too. Even working perfectly, there is plenty of risk working at Jurrasic World but I guess I would hope that the technology and safeguards would work.


7. Theme Park Writer
(From Westworld)

I love writing. I could not keep myself from writing if I tried. When I do not write, it just floods my imagination especially when I am trying to sleep. Westworld is a theme park where robots are programmed to carry out live action roleplay with human park guests. If the guest wants to be a good guy, there are bad guys to kill and people to save. If the guest wants to be a bad guy, there are good guys to kill and dastardly crimes to commit in a safe environment. There are technicians who work on the robots but there are also writers and designers who make the storylines. I would love to spend my time doing that. Taking the same characters and repurposing them for slightly different stories would be so much fun. Of course, there are the dangers of the robots gaining sentience but that would not really be my problem unless they came after me. There are some ethical concerns but really, as far as I would know, the robots are just fancy animatronics in cowboy clothes. It would give me a chance to write stories with good guys or bad guys in the lead role.


6. Watcher
(From Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

In the world of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, magic is real and has been unleashed in the world. There are demons, vampires and other nasty things that are more than ready to prey on human beings. Magical warrior women (and girls) known as “slayers” are tapped to fight these creatures. Of course, suddenly becoming a supernaturally strong is not enough to fight evil successfully. Knowledge is power and these slayers are backed up by “watchers” who teach the slayer about fighting the undead. Watchers are usually bookish types, the Q and M to a slayer’s Bond. Among other things, I have been the bookish type. I love to research things and read up on things to arm myself against the world. In this scenario, I would be using that passion to examine eldritch threats to the human populace. I would be helping to guide a young woman in combat, usually without having to do any of the fighting. The only problem I would have is that I would be largely helpless if my charge was killed. Of course, I could study magic to negate some of my relative physical weakness.


5. Space Cowboy/Smuggler
(From Firefly)

The crew of the Serenity spaceship takes a lot of less than savory jobs on the very outskirts of civilization. Of course, they take a lot of the riskier jobs because they do not want to run into the Alliance for two big reasons. If I was serving on a different ship, we would probably not be taking jobs that were quite that dangerous. Sure, there would still be rough jobs and there are always Reavers out there but there should not be dangerous black ops operatives or as many sketchy jobs. I am not inexperienced with firearms (which I would hope not to use). The job also seems like it would include a lot of downtime between jobs. When you pick up a load of cattle and have to fly it to another planet, there’s some rest time between destinations. Of course, there would always be the risk of being arrested by the Alliance but they are pretty corrupt. It would only be the worst offenses that we could not pay our way out of.


4. Mystery Shack Employee
(From Gravity Falls)

Gravity Falls is a little town in Oregon where strange things are happening. There is also an extradimensional tear and a lot to do with what appear to be Old Ones. Did I mention that this is an all ages show? The show follows a brother and sister who are twins who are staying with their Grunkle Stan for the summer. Stan owns and operates a tourist trap called the Mystery Shack which is kind of a museum of the weird. Some of the exhibits are real but most of them are not. Every day would be an exercise in both creating art projects and writing imaginary lore about supernatural creatures. I would have to keep customers safe from the real supernatural creatures and objects in town but that would be fun. Reading the journals would be all I did during lulls when I was not selling cheap trinkets to visitors. The residents of Gravity Falls are pretty dumb but are also kindhearted so it would be a pretty pleasant place to live.


3. Dal Riata Bartender
(From Lost Girl)

I have worked in the service industry before although it was only for a few months as a summer job just before college. It was often a long day of working on your feet with only the hope of enough pay to handle your commitments. However, most people were nice enough and those who were not eventually left and you usually did not need to deal with them again for a while if ever. The people watching was very interesting as I saw tables with all sorts of compositions. The regulars were often the nicest people I could meet and I also felt supremely satisfied at the end of a good day’s work. The Dal Riata is a bar exclusively for faekind in the world of Lost Girl. It is a way station where those with faerie blood can stop in and rest and relax without having to hide what they are. If you think that faeries are all glitter and sparkles, you would be wrong. Faekind is often incredibly dangerous even with powers meant to be beneficial to humankind. However, the reason I would want this job is because the Dal Riata is basically Switzerland. It is the one zone in town where fighting amongst the Dark and the Light is forbidden. So, I would get to meet all sorts of interesting creatures while being protected by an ancient truce. Of course, that would mean I would have powers of my own but that is just an additional bonus.


2. Muppet Crewmember
(From the Muppet Show)

If you look back far enough in this blog, you will know that I used to work in professional theater. I still have an undying love for the theater even if I have moved on professionally. The atmosphere backstage is controlled craziness. It may look crazy but everybody knows where they are supposed to be and they have practiced every minute over and over. Of course, the Muppet Show is more of a vaudeville show which has more elements of improvisation and chaos. The show almost never goes as planned except when it does. While there are definitely a lot of interruptions, huge expensive-looking musical numbers often go off without a hitch. In addition, the show continues to book hugely popular human celebrities even with a reputation for those guests getting abused. We do not see a lot of crewmembers beyond Scooter, Gladys and Kermit as many performers double as crewmembers and vice versa. However, I would love to be a crewmember on The Muppet Show. First, I would be a muppet which means I would be nigh impossible to kill. Second, I would get to work with really cool celebrities and my coworkers would be absolutely insane in the best ways.


1. Librarian
(From The Librarians)

Having recently watched The Librarians, I was totally jazzed about the main characters of the show. That is actually the show that gave me the idea for this list. A couple years ago, as I was spending days putting up campaign signs, I was told that my great memory for details especially of literature and film would serve me well in a new profession. I briefly considered studying to become a librarian. Of course, this show is about Librarians who travel the world and collect magical artifacts and save the day. They do so by using research and intelligence, two things I love to use. To be in the field and put the details of legend, mathematics and art history to practical use would be amazingly fun. Of course, every adventure has the possibility of incredible danger but I would have the satisfaction of knowing that I am saving the world on the regular. Also, I get to hang out with Santa Claus and see and experience the wonder of magic.

Media Update 7/23/2015

July 23, 2015


Mr. Peabody and Sherman

I remember watching Rocky and Bullwinkle reruns when I was a kid along with my brothers. I never cared for Rocky and Bullwinkle as much as the eventual spin-off Mr. Peabody’s Improbable History. Each short was a (mostly) accurate journey through world history, a subject that I’ve always enjoyed. The movie is an update of the cartoon shorts. Peabody is a talking dog with genius level intellect and encyclopedic knowledge. He takes his adopted human son, Sherman, through history to teach him lessons. Just like the show, the historical figures are depicted as silly while still being accurate enough about their place in history.

The movie was actually way better than I expected. It was funny, touching and well-written and well-acted. What was originally a cute story about history became a coming of age story and also a tale about coming to terms with who you really are. I definitely recommend it to animated movie fans.

 

Jem and the Holograms

Wow. Just wow. I decided to check this cartoon out because it popped up on Netflix, I had never seen it and there’s a lot of noise about the upcoming movie adaptation. When I was growing up, Jem and the Holograms were definitely around but it was not spoken of in my circle of friends. In the eighties and early nineties there was definitely a gender barrier and honestly it wasn’t something I was interested in. I’m definitely in the right frame of mind now. The show is really a mess but I think that this quirkiness is really funny sometimes. The show’s pacing is weird, the rotoscoped animation is surreal and the plots are super predictable but it’s an eighties kids show which somehow excuses a lot. The show is over the top all the time and follows a music group trying to gain success in order to support an orphanage. It has at least two music videos per episode and honestly they’re all kind of catchy. I can’t say I would recommend watching this but why not check out an episode or three like I did?

 

Inside Out

I finally got out to the movie theater. Of course, I was the only adult who attended without a kid or three in tow. The movie follows the exploits of emotions who live in an 11 year old girl’s head and guide her through life. I went in expecting it to be really good as about 90% of Pixar’s movies are really, really awesome. I was definitely not disappointed. Even with little kids making a lot of noise all around me, I really enjoyed the movie. It was smart and funny and full of jokes that the whole family could enjoy. The movie also delivered a lot of heavy emotional body blows which has become a Pixar trademark. I really don’t want to give anything away but while this wasn’t the best Pixar movie ever, it was miles above most animated movies. Amy Poehler in particular surprised me by how good her acting was. Definitely go see it if you like animated movies or you have a kid.

 

Jurrasic World

I walked right out of Inside Out and right into a different theater to check out Jurassic World. I have loved the franchise since the first movie was released back in the nineties. While other people crapped all over the sequels, I really liked them although I readily admit that they could have been better. The first was always the best as it blended humor, wonder and horror pretty close to perfectly. I think that this installment brought a lot of that back. It especially brought back the horror for me as there were several spots where a knot tightened in my stomach. Chris Pratt was a great choice for lead and Bryce Dallas Howard worked with him very well. I was actually pretty shocked that the child actors weren’t bad, in fact they were the best we’ve seen in a Jurrasic Park movie. The effects are very close to perfect and I got lost in the sci-fi world of the franchise yet again. I would recommend seeing this one as well.
In Other News:
– The second season of Bojack Horseman is excellent so far (3 episodes in)
– I’ve watched more Garfunkel and Oates and it gets even better (5 episodes in)
– Ditto for the Vampire Diaries (8 episodes in)
– And again with Boston Legal (12 episodes in)

Media Update 6/25/2015

June 25, 2015

Not much new to discuss this week as I’ve been watching a lot of the same stuff that I’ve mentioned before. However…


Jimmy Buffet: Workin’ and Playin’ Concert Tour

Last Saturday we took my mom to see Jimmy Buffet in concert in Bristow, VA in honor of her 60th birthday which was last year. Several plans fell through when trying to find the appropriate way to celebrate but, thanks to my brother Alex, we were able to celebrate in style anyway.

The adventure started by driving out to Bristow and the Jiffy Lube Live Pavillion. My mom put together a lot of barbecue and we proceeded to tailgate along with pretty much everybody else in attendance. Of course, my mom also made what I call “Orange Margaritas” which are full of ground up oranges, limes, lemons and what tastes like roughly all of the alcohol. I was buzzed after one cup. The tiredness I had felt from the humidity vanished and I took it upon myself to find my brother who had driven separately.

After using the power of Bon Jovi to reunite with Alex, we all continued to chow down on barbecue and drink margaritas. About fifteen minutes later there was a tornado warning and we barely got back into the car before a torrential downpour swept through the area. With no twitter updates from the venue, we were left with the dilemma of whether we should try to head inside or stay in the car. Eventually, the rain slacked off and we headed to our seats which were safely covered from the rain.

Eight o’clock hit which is when the concert was scheduled to start and Jimmy and some of the Coral Reefers hit the stage to lots of cheers but no pomp and circumstance. Jimmy launched into his version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” in honor of our near misses from tornadoes and the passing storm. Afterward, he announced a delay of about fifteen minutes. This was super classy as he gave us a little treat instead of having somebody make the announcement over a PA system.

The concert eventually started and it was really great. Jimmy Buffett is a great performer and seems like a guy who just loves to entertain and have a good time. He actually played a lot of songs that I hadn’t heard before and covers of other musicians I had heard before. Notably, he played “5 O’Clock Somewhere” by Alan Jackson which makes sense as Jackson has played Margaritaville in concert. I sang along to the songs I knew and bounced to the rhythm and I had a great time and so did the rest of the family.

The place had a real party atmosphere and I definitely was entertained by the crowd sometimes as much as the entertainers on stage. I’d like to shout out to three guys in particular. The first I call “White Guy Dancer” who was directly in front of me. He danced to every song with a lot of passion but no skill or rhythm. The other two guys I call the “Buffet Bros” who looked younger than me with shaved heads. They did loosely choreographed dance routines to each song and fist pounded each other like true bros. They were weird but harmless.

If I had any complaint, it was that the vocals were mixed a little too low as I would have loved to hear the lyrics of the songs I was unfamiliar with. It was super fun and I was exhausted by the end, riding home with my ears ringing but knowing my mom was happy with her present.


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