Kermit sat at the hotel bar and slowly sipped his glass of scotch and read his book. He would always order a Mosquito Mojito wherever he went but nobody seemed to want to make it. He understood, most establishments outside of Rowlf’s bar were designed and marketed to humans. There was not much call for insect-based cocktails in these sorts of establishments. He could go to Rowlf’s or places more frequented by Muppets but he enjoyed these quiet moments away from the Muppets’ various shenanigans. Long ago they seemed to have elected him leader which was flattering but it came with all sorts of stress. He just needed to step away now and then. I was healthy. He had to keep telling himself that.
The bar was out of the way so it was usually pretty empty so he could usually get away with only signing a few autographs and then he could relax. It was the most calming thing outside of a visit back to the swamp but those trips took up a lot of time and had to be reserved for special occasions. A ball game was playing on a television in the corner but it was not loud enough to distract Kermit from his book. It was a Grisham, something not too challenging that he could just zone out and read. What did distract him from his book was when the stool next to his started to wiggle and shake. That was certainly strange.
Kermit looked down and saw a familiar red and furry monster struggling to climb the stool. Kermit watched for a few moments, somewhat amused at the attempt of the small creature to climb the tall stool. He took another sip of scotch and then set his book down on the bar.
“Elmo?” Kermit asked. “What are you doing here?”
“Elmo came to talk to you,” Elmo said and then continued to struggle, making slow progress.
“Uh-huh,” Kermit said and watched a bit more. “How did you find me?”
“Elmo is very good at finding people,” Elmo said as he kept climbing.
“That really doesn’t answer my question,” Kermit said. “But I guess it doesn’t really matter. Do you need some help?”
“No thank you. Elmo is very good at climbing,” Elmo said. He kept climbing slowly, grunting as he ascended. After a bit more of this, Elmo spoke up again. “Maybe Elmo could use a little help.”
Kermit reached his flipper down and Elmo grabbed a hold of it. Kermit helped Elmo by pulling him up onto the stool. Elmo panted heavily as he settled onto the stool. Kermit sipped his scotch again.
“Can I get you something to drink, Elmo?” Kermit asked.
“Elmo would like that very much, Kermit the Frog,” Elmo said. “Thank you.”
Kermit flagged down the bartender. “Could you get the kid a root beer? Emphasis on ‘root’,” he said before glancing at Elmo and remembering. “Please.”
The bartender brought the drink and Elmo took a long sip. They sat in silence for a bit.
“Now what can I do for you, Elmo?” Kermit asked. “You’re a long way from Sesame Street.”
“Elmo had to come to see Kermit because Elmo knows that Kermit is very smart,” Elmo said. “And Elmo needs to talk to somebody outside of Sesame Street.”
“And I really don’t spend much time in Sesame Street anymore,” Kermit said with a nod. “I guess I should be flattered. What’s your problem?”
“Rocko,” Elmo said. “Rocko is Elmo’s problem.”
Kermit blinked and waited for a moment. “Who is Rocko?” Kermit asked.
“Rocko is Zoe’s friend,” Elmo said. “And a rock.”
“I guess I have been gone for a while,” Kermit said. “Who’s Zoe?”
“Zoe is Elmo’s friend,” Elmo said.
“That tracks,” Kermit said. “What is your problem with Rocko?”
“Rocko and Zoe make Elmo angry,” Elmo said. “Elmo tries to do things but Rocko and Zoe outnumber Elmo. And Elmo thinks Rocko is not real.”
Kermit took a long sip of his scotch and signaled for a refill. He put a tip down on the bar. “Wow, there’s a lot to unpack there but I think I understand,” Kermit said. He thought about bringing up how nobody believed Big Bird that Snuffy was real but that seemed like a lost cause. He also thought about how he had seen Muppets in all shapes and sizes and a sentient rock was not entirely out of the question. He dismissed that thought as well. It was best to keep it simple. “Elmo, we don’t always get along and it’s OK to get angry but Zoe is your friend. My friends can make me upset sometimes too.”
“What does Kermit do when he is upset?” Elmo asked.
“Kermit tries to walk away and take a moment for himself,” Kermit said. “Oh you’ve got me doing it now.”
“Doing what?” Elmo asked, staring at Kermit.
“Nevermind,” Kermit said. “If you can, step away from the situation and calm down. If you can’t get away, take a deep breath and remember the good times. Try to understand that a true friend doesn’t really want to hurt you. Try to be patient.”
“Elmo will try,” Elmo said with a sigh. “Thank you, Kermit.”
“You’re welcome, Elmo,” Kermit said.