Ocean’s Thirteen

I am not much of a gambler but there are not so many obvious reasons for that. I was raised as a Methodist by a family that came from the South. The extreme wings of the Church in the American south have always frowned on the gambling industry (and really any kind of fun). The churches we attended never gave sermons on gambling. Really, how can games of chance be thought of as sinful? Instead, I just thought gambling for money was dumb. There is a phrase that always holds true “The House Always Wins”. I have studied enough probability and statistics to know how unlikely it is to win. Everything is not in your favor and the risk/reward calculation will almost never come out right. So, when I was growing up I steadfastly refused to gamble for money. I was kind of a dick about it.

Lately, I have changed my mind about things a bit. While I still think that ambling into a casino and dropping big money or spending your paycheck on the library is ridiculous, I can see the fun in a little gambling. In past years, I have gone to the racetrack at Charlestown to watch the horses run and have dinner with family. That is when I got started on making a few dollar bets on races. Of course, you would think that an educated person would carefully pick the right horse and the right races to get the most out of a bet. Not so. I am a sucker for a horse with an interesting name. Since I am only betting one dollar, I find myself thinking less about numbers and more about the experience. A goofy name with bad odds wins me over every time. I would be embarrassed if it was less fun.

The Ocean’s Eleven series of movies are a throwback to the original movie and the unwritten codes that casino operators had to follow and keep in business. While I have never been to Las Vegas, I always like that old Frank Sinatra feeling of respect and honor. Casinos may have been run by criminals back then (or not what do I know?) but they were run under a code of proper conduct. The large cast of these movies makes a point of mixing older actors and younger actors to drive home the idea of respecting tradition. The bad guys do not respect it while the good guys do. Of course, traditions are only worth following if they are good ones and the movies drive that point home too.

The cast, as I said, is huge. This is the second movie I have reviewed this month starring George Clooney who is always super charming. I love the familiarity he now has with Brad Pitt and Matt Damon’s characters forming a core of characters who talk to each other like friends do. They bust each other’s chops and know each other’s minds. You can look up the whole list of awesome character actors on your own but once again this movie had a super impressive cast. This time, the guys are up against Al Pacino who is putting in a good performance. Recently he has been doing cartoony roles in Adam Sandler movies so it was nice to see him return to form.

Overall, I really liked this movie. It was a cool little popcorn movie to watch on a lazy afternoon as I put up my feet and relaxed. The values of honor, trust, and standing up for your friends are good messages to put out there even if the main characters are criminals. The world is full of shades of gray and I will always favor the lesser evil over the greater evil. Besides, the heroes never enrich themselves unjustly and there is a Robin Hood mentality. The bad guy falls because he bets against them and that is when the house finally loses.

Royal Casino

(THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS OF A 3 YEAR OLD MOVIE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)
(Written in IRC and thus contains timestamps and a response from Swashtech and TP)

I heard a lot of people raving about Casion Royale (2006) when it came out. I didn’t think that much about it at the time because there’s always a lot of hoopla surrounding a Bond movie. They’re blockbusters after all. I hadn’t heard of Daniel Craig who was kind of an unknown at the time. At least he was to me.

I told myself I would get around to watching the movie eventually. Finally, I sat down and watched the movie the other night on my laptop. I got a little snarky but I liked the movie quite a bit and I do recommend it.

(12:28:41 AM) KingMengi: Apparently this torrent is in black and white
(12:30:00 AM) KingMengi: Ok there’s some color
(12:30:20 AM) KingMengi: Well… many colors now
(12:30:42 AM) KingMengi: I don’t know how many drugs you have to take to come up with a Bond title sequence
(12:30:49 AM) KingMengi: A lot is my guess
(12:31:22 AM) Swashtech: I think Casino Royale had one of the best Bond opening songs ever.
(12:31:34 AM) KingMengi: It’s a fairly good song. Trippy but good.
(12:32:34 AM) KingMengi: Bond is ambushing people from behind the maths
(12:33:15 AM) KingMengi: Definitely shouting “YOU KNOW MY NAAAME!” over and over
(12:35:57 AM) KingMengi: Good times
(12:36:11 AM) KingMengi: Mongoose vs. Snake III… this time it’s personal!
(12:36:55 AM) KingMengi: And somebody just got a text message from a grouping of punctuation marks
(12:38:55 AM) KingMengi: When you dropkick somebody off a construction site they really get dropkicked
(12:40:16 AM) KingMengi: Out of bullets. Time to use Crane Style… on a crane
(12:41:15 AM) KingMengi: It’s true… white man can’t jump
(12:47:09 AM) KingMengi: Did he just say “weeping blood”?
(12:48:11 AM) KingMengi: “Christ, I miss the Cold War!”
(12:54:25 AM) KingMengi: …and Bond is now into grand theft auto
(12:57:52 AM) KingMengi: Random horse
(12:57:58 AM) KingMengi: with random girl
(12:58:42 AM) KingMengi: M is so hilariously exasperated all the time
(1:01:03 AM) Swashtech: It’s cause Judi Dench is too old. :P
(1:01:58 AM) KingMengi: I don’t think so. I think she’s awesome.
(1:02:15 AM) KingMengi: And Bond bankrupts the bad guy… movie over?
(1:02:31 AM) TemporalParadox: oh, no. not at all.
(1:02:44 AM) KingMengi: Yeah it’s only 35 minutes in
(1:03:05 AM) KingMengi: And Bond hasn’t gotten laid yet
(1:04:44 AM) KingMengi: God, Bond goes after slutty women
(1:05:42 AM) KingMengi: Bond is all “Let me get up in them guts” and the girl is like “Well, I’m married but ok”
(1:06:42 AM) KingMengi: Bond is a slut
(1:08:07 AM) KingMengi: Oh dude! Body Worlds! Best exhibit ever!
(1:09:36 AM) KingMengi: Still chasing that elusive set of punctuation marks
(1:19:27 AM) KingMengi: Wow… this truck scene is on par with the Raiders truck scene
(1:23:21 AM) KingMengi: Judi Dench had him tagged… thankfully not bagged
(1:27:49 AM) KingMengi: “James Bond, you’ve emotionally wounded me. Take me to bed now”
(1:29:24 AM) KingMengi: A woman delayed in going to bed with him? WTF?
(1:30:13 AM) KingMengi: Stephanie Broadchester hah!
(1:35:13 AM) KingMengi: And the prize for snarkiest Bond girl goes to…
(1:38:13 AM) KingMengi: Movie only half over… feels like it should almost be done
(1:41:57 AM) KingMengi: The villain has asthma?
(1:51:28 AM) KingMengi: Lady Macbeth reference
(1:51:36 AM) KingMengi: segued into seduction
(1:54:37 AM) KingMengi: Not since Maverick has Poker been so cinematic
(2:00:07 AM) KingMengi: America: We’re effing rich

(Note: This is where it got so awesome that I forgot to be snarky)

(2:31:29 AM) KingMengi: And the movie’s still going past 2 hours
(2:43:12 AM) KingMengi: Ok.. there’s CPR and there’s frenching a dead girl… they’re not the same thing
(2:47:30 AM) KingMengi: lol… that’s the best ending
(2:47:40 AM) KingMengi: Of any Bond movie ever.
(2:48:48 AM) KingMengi: “Mr. White? We need to talk” *Shot in leg*
(2:49:09 AM) KingMengi: It sure beats the pants off the Christmas Jones ending