Bounty

Virgil Clay had been walking down the dusty main street of Cleargate as if his wanted poster was not hanging across most of the surrounding lands. He heard a low whistle and turned his head to see a petite red-headed half-elf woman wearing her hat low almost over her eyes. 

“Hey there little filly,” Virgil said with a smile. “Who might you be?”

“Nobody you know,” the woman said with a smirk. “You sure look loaded with confidence walking through town. A bit cocky.”

“It ain’t cocky if I can back it up,” Virgil said. “Let’s go upstairs at the saloon and I’ll show you.”

“I don’t think so,” the woman said with a laugh.

“Not tempted?” Virgil asked. “Not even a little bit?”

“Not even a little bit,” the woman said. “I’m here with a job to do.” She flashed a Marshal badge that glinted in the moonlight. “The name’s Marshal Millie Wyatt.”

“Well, I’ll let you go on your way Marshal,” Virgil said and started to turn away.

“You look just like your posters, Virgil Clay,” Millie said. “A very good likeness. Come quietly and you won’t get hurt.”

Virgil stripped his shirt off quickly and closed the gap between him and Millie so that he could unleash a flurry of blows. Each punch barely missed its mark as Millie ducked and dodged almost effortlessly. She paused for a moment, gathering her will, and then drove a single punch into Virgil’s ribs. She thought she heard something crack and grinned in satisfaction. Virgil groaned, and shuddered, but then recovered and backflipped out of Millie’s reach. He coughed up a little blood but his eyes were determined.

Virgil pulled out a rather large knife and looked at Millie with murder in his eyes. Millie calmly turned her back on Virgil. Now fully enraged, Virgil charged in with the knife but his anger made his slashes clumsier than they would have been normally. Millie listened for the attacks and ducked out of the way each time, making it look effortless. She suddenly did a backflip so she could drive her foot into Virgil’s nose with a kick. Virgil stumbled backward again, his nose already swelling.

“I’m giving you another chance to give up, Virgil,” Millie said. “You can heal in a cell overnight before I transport you to the judge.”

Virgil spat into the dirt. “I’m not surrendering to you, Marshall,” he said. “I’m going to kill you.”

Millie laughed softly. “That seems to be going well for you so far,” Millie said. “Let’s see what happens.”

Virgil twisted a dial on his belt buckle and his skin started to turn to stone and yet he could still move. He once again charged Millie but this time his punches were backed by the power of stone skin. Millie dodged the blows yet again but was hit with a solid punch that sent her flying several feet. As she recovered, Virgil charged her and aimed a punch down at her head. She barely rolled to the side before Virgil could split her head open like a pumpkin. Millie finally had enough and drew a pistol from her holster. She slid a bullet into one of the cylinders and spun it into place.

Virgil laughed. “That bullet won’t do anything to me,” he said and bared his stone chest to her as if to dare her to shoot.

Millie shrugged, aimed, and fired directly into Virgil. There was no effect for a moment but then Virgil’s stone skin started to fade away.

“What!?” Virgil called out. “What’s happening to me?”

“Dispel magic bullet,” Millie said as she loaded more bullets. “Care to give up now?”

Virgil sighed and kicked the dirt. Another bullet might end him. “You win, Marshal,” he said. “For now.”

“I’ll take it,” Millie said. “Let justice be done.” She pulled out a pair of iron shackles.

Media Update 12/28/23

It’s a Wonderful Knife (2023)

Just the title of this one got me interested as a lot of these types of movies have started to pop up. A year after stopping a serial killer, a young woman finds herself in an alternate timeline where she never existed. This was a fun take on the original story, blending it with horror. It is also one of the gayest horror movies that I have ever seen (and that’s definitely not a bad thing). Jane Widdop plays the main character, a high school girl who just wants to recover from her trauma. Jess McCleod plays her “Clarence” of sorts, a girl who has a lot of ideas on what is going on. Joel McHale plays the dad and is his usual goofy self. Justin Long plays the campy and offputting town leader. There are a lot of great smaller roles from Katharine Isabelle, Catherine Naud, and Aiden Howard. The premise really works and I agree with the Dead Meat Podcast in calling this new style of horror movie “Hallmark Horror”. I am loving all of these horror riffs on classic movies. I recommend this movie.

Adult Swim’s Yule Log (2022)

This one could have easily been missed but Adult Swim embraces the madness. While filming a Yule log video in a cabin in the woods, a couple gets sucked into supernatural chaos. Leave it to the creator of Too Many Cooks to turn a Yule Log video into a feature horror film. The movie just keeps going off of the rails and it left me guessing at every turn. The special effects were fun. They were simple but very effective. Andrea Laing and Justin Miles lead the movie as a couple becoming increasingly put upon. Charles Green plays a very awkward and offputting villain who is very hard to pin down. It is a hard movie to describe and is best watched without any spoilers. I really like how the concept expands as the movie goes on and is definitely self-aware. I recommend this movie.

The Brain (1988)

I had never heard of this movie but it showed up on The Last Drive-In this year so I figured it was worth a shot. When an alien brain starts to conquer the world, it’s up to a high school student to stop it. Tom Bresnahan plays the prankster high schooler who gets accidentally mixed up in the plot. David Gale plays the scientist villain, very stern and very ambitious. George Buza plays a creepy-eyed nurse. The movie does not have a lot of exposition and gets right the action. The movie takes place at Christmas but does not have a lot of Christmas atmosphere. I really love the practical effects of the titular brain monster. It really looks great. 

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Music of the Week:

New Rules – Might Ruin Christmas

Ally Brooke – Under The Tree

Elle Darlington – Christmas is You

The Linda Lindas – Groovy Xmas

Mashup of the Week: 

Caught In A Mashup – The Antichrist Is Coming To Town

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Weekly Update:

• This week’s theme is “Getting Weird at Christmas”
• I watched a ton of YouTube and Twitch: Impact Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling,  LegalEagle, Dead Meat, Some More News, Games Done Quick, Cultaholic, Allison Pregler, Phelous, Game Theory, Jesse Cox, Super Beard Bros, Drawfee, Nick DiRamio, Sad Boyz, Jarvis Johnson, KallMeKris, Dropout, Swell Entertainment, Amalee
• I watched more Hawai’i 5-0 Season 4
• I finished NCIS Hawai’i Season 2
• I watched more NCIS Season 20
• I watched more Murder She Wrote Season 2
• I watched more Brooklyn 99 Season 5
• I am now rewatching Psych
• I also rewatched Batman Returns, Gremlins, and Nightmare Before Christmas

Top 11 Favorite West Wing Episodes Pt. 2

5. S02E05 “And It’s Surely to Their Credit”

The President and Leo McGarry have hired Republican political pundit Ainsley Hayes as a new Associate White House Counsel much to the chagrin of the rest of the White House staff. Of the staff, only CJ is willing to give the new hire a fair shot and she tries to convince her coworkers to ease up. The White House Counsel, Lionel Tribbey is vehemently opposed to the hire but must relent and gives Ainsley her first assignment to clean up a problem with a White House staffer error in testimony. This steps on the toes of Sam Seaborn who already does not look kindly on Ainsley’s hiring. Ainsley soldiers on and is able to work out a great deal for her new clients but ends up humiliated when the staffers ignore her counsel. Sam sees how upset she is and comes to her defense, firing the staffers with support from Tribbey who has realized how good Ainsley is. Sam also realizes that Ainsley is not only an excellent lawyer but also that they are now on the same team. He organizes a get-together with her, Josh, and CJ to properly welcome her aboard. Meanwhile, Donna is struggling to keep the President on task with his weekly radio address. Josh’s insurance refuses to cover bills related to his getting shot in the line of duty. Sam and Toby try to convince him to sue the hate group that shot him. CJ has an ongoing argument with a general who is on his way out and is getting ready to denounce the president.

This was the first real introduction of Ainsley Hayes after her hiring. She is delightfully awkward but really is a brilliant and fair attorney who is willing to set aside her party to serve the President. Her chemistry with Sam would continue to be great with a lot of sibling energy. John Laroquette appears as the fiery Tribbey and it is a shame that we do not get to see more of his character as Ainsley acts as his proxy for the rest of her tenure. The emotional payoff of Sam’s righteous anger and his show of good faith warmed my heart. CJ spends most of her time being witty and light so it is fun to watch her play hardball now and again. Watching her bring down a mighty General of the US Army is impressive and fun to watch. Donna continues to be the queen of great comic timing as her exasperation with the President grows. The storyline about suing hate groups was intellectually interesting and raised a lot of interesting questions. It was also nice to see how many people were in Josh’s corner. 

4. S07E21 “Institutional Memory”

As Bartlett administration winds down, the staff is trying to figure out what to do. The episode mostly focuses on CJ but also focuses on Will. Will and Kate will not be continuing in the White House just as their new relationship is blossoming. Will visits the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee for a possible job. While there, Will hears about a seemingly impossible race out in Oregon. Kate convinces him to run for the seat even if it means a tough long-distance relationship. CJ is still fielding job offers. She is given a blank check offer from a multibillionaire to tackle any issue to help save the world. She is also given an offer she can’t refuse from Matt Santos. She is also in the midst of a renewed romantic and sexual relationship with Danny Concannon. She struggles with her career decision and falters in her commitment to her lover. She visits Toby for the first time since Toby’s betrayal of the White House to talk to him about it things. CJ struggles with her decisions not only with her future career but committing to Danny. In the end, she decides to leave politics behind and embraces a future with Danny and a career in saving the world.

One of my favorite characters is CJ Cregg and this seemed like her curtain call and it is definitely an episode almost entirely focused on her. She is a woman who repeatedly proved herself to be tough as Teflon but she finally allows herself to be vulnerable for somebody. I always loved the chemistry between CJ and Danny. It was never going to work out while she was Press Secretary and he was a journalist but seeing them finally get together was so cathartic. It helps that Danny is one of the funniest guest stars on the show. It was also nice to see her moving on to bigger and better things instead of just sticking around the White House because she thought she had to.  The idea of Will running for office makes a lot of sense. He was an excellent campaign manager but his two biggest clients were a dead Senator and a bland Vice President. The idea of him getting to try his own hand at governing is fun. People seem to be down on the Kate/Will relationship but they clicked for me.

3. S02E08 “Shibboleth”

The first of the Thanksgiving episodes. A boatload of Chinese evangelical Christians arrives in the USA looking for asylum. Bartlett is faced with this hot-button issue which may piss off China and may piss off critics of immigration in general. The title of the episode comes from a Jewish term describing a codeword of sorts used to prove you are part of a group. Bartlett must be worried about whether or not the request for asylum is legitimate. Ultimately, he decides that the asylum seekers are acting in good faith and accepts them into the immigration process. Meanwhile, Toby tries to get Leo’s sister appointed for an education post. It comes out that she had a controversial moment concerning her anti-school prayer stance that was documented and she is convinced to reject the appointment. Of course, that just kicks the topic down the road. CJ is tasked with deciding which turkey will be pardoned by the president but feels guilty when she finds out the loser will get eaten. Charlie searches for just the right carving knife for the Bartlett family’s Thanksgiving. In the end, Charlie finds out that he was searching for a new knife because the President is gifting a knife forged by Paul Revere to Charlie.

I am not a religious person but watching the President think his way through a way to help out honestly religious people in peril is a nice story. President Bartlet is at his most likable when he delivers a history lesson related to the problem at hand. The way he explains what Shibboleth is was so good. A lesser actor might have come off as a know-it-all but Sheen always knew how to make it work. The moment between Charlie and the President blindsided me just as it blindsided Charlie and it is a real touching moment. In a lot of ways, Charlie was a big part of the heart and the soul of the show and he deserved every good thing he got. Of course, watching CJ struggle with the turkeys provides a lot of physical comedy but it is also relatable. Being directly responsible for something’s death is heartbreaking. Also, it allowed for a lesson in civics involving the President, Donna, and CJ which made me laugh pretty hard. The simple comedic timing of the actor playing the turkey farmer tied a nice bow on the scene. The plot between Leo and his sister was fun in a different way. She proves that she is just as cunning as her brother and that they are so close. It also allowed the show to approach the topic of school prayer in an honest way.

2. S03E07 “The Indians in the Lobby”

The second Thanksgiving episode. The title refers to a CJ plot where she is the only one still present in the West Wing before the holiday who can deal with two Native Americans who refuse to leave the lobby. It definitely feels like politicians never want to talk about Native Americans and our long horrible history with them as colonizers. The two natives are correct for protesting and CJ is sympathetic to them but ultimately not in a position to help them directly. In the end, she defuses the situation by being empathetic and fair with them, something they had not seen much from the government. Their dialogues are the emotional center of the episode. Toby and Sam struggle with a new report that raises the poverty line which is both good news and bad news. They and Bartlett’s campaign manager Bruno ultimately decide they can make it work. Josh is working on the extradition from Italy of a young man accused of killing his teacher before fleeing the country. Josh is able to broker a deal by getting the DA to not seek the death penalty. Meanwhile, President Bartlett is talking everybody’s ear off about the preparation of the Thanksgiving meal. When he finds that he has a question about stuffing, Charlie informs him that Butterball has a hotline. The President calls the hotline to get some tips.

I keep thinking about the CJ plot the most as Native Americans are a topic that comes up around Thanksgiving. The first Thanksgiving dinner has become a symbol of broken promises and oppression of the people who were here long before us. CJ’s compassion is what I would want to see from the government. CJ also works the problem with cleverness and makes sure everybody wins. Josh’s dialogue with Donna in this episode while working on finding a flight for him to visit his mother is top-level comedy. It shows just how good the chemistry was between the two of them. Sam’s honest worrying about poverty in America is a small story but it is important to think about the hungry during a holiday devoted to feasting. The Butterball hotline bits between the President, Toby, and Charlie are comedy gold. It plays out like a series of comedy sketches that just get funnier as they go along.

1. S02E01/02 “In the Shadow of Two Gunmen”

This is a two-parter but everything I have seen treats these as one big episode so it is only slightly cheating. In the aftermath of a shooting attempt on the President’s motorcade, everybody is figuring out what to do next. The President is found to be shot and is rushed to the hospital followed closely by his daughter Zoey in another vehicle. The President is rushed into surgery. Back at the site of the shooting, the staffers and Secret Service take stock of things. Toby finds that Josh has also been shot and calls for an ambulance. The First Lady Abbey Bartlett shows up at the hospital and talks privately with the anaesthesiologist before surgery. She discloses that her husband has MS. Josh and the President both go into surgery. As people wait for them, we start getting flashbacks to how a lot of the characters met. We see how Josh left Hoynes’ campaign and dragged Sam into Bartlett’s campaign. We see Toby earn the faith of Leo and Bartlett. We see CJ get plucked from a PR firm. Issues arise from the press about who was in charge while the President was in surgery and a change in Secret Service protocol. Charlie is informed that the gunmen were aiming for him because of his dating Zoey. Josh flashes back to when his father died and Bartlett came to comfort him, sharing an almost parental moment.

This episode is absolutely jam-packed and the above synopsis does not begin to do it justice. The flashbacks are my favorite part of the episodes. Through them we see how the current senior staff coalesced and the journey to the White House for the Bartlett campaign. Over and over Bartlett chose people he could trust over those he was friends with. In the end, they became a sort of work family, bonded together in the trenches. It was nice seeing how the connections were made and how these people have been friends for a long time. It gave a lot of additional context to seemingly simple moments seen earlier on the show. I especially love the “What’s Next?” scene which would play heavily into the whole series. The little scenes between the characters, as they struggled to make it through the crisis, were very touching. Donna’s scene when she finds out is especially heartbreaking. Leo, Toby, and CJ get caught up in the PR and political parts of the event which keeps them from their friends. It is a really beautiful episode that manages to not be too dark despite the subject matter.

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Honorable Mentions:

S06E08 “In the Room” – Penn and Teller

I just really like the scenes with Penn and Teller as we get to see the famous comedy magicians match wits with White House staff. 

S03E00  “Isaac and Ishmael”

This is a non-canon episode where the characters have a dialogue with students while the white house is locked down. It was a reaction to 9/11. I really like some of the points the characters make as they all get a chance to lay their philosophy on the table.

Media Update 12/21/23

The Naughty Nine (2023)

The idea of this one immediately jumped out at me so I had to pick it. Nine children who were not visited by Santa Claus decide to get what they want by sneaking into the North Pole. This is a family-friendly heist movie that definitely hits the right spot. This is an ensemble piece where a crew of kids is assembled to actually break into the North Pole. I had seen Winslow Fegley before and he does a great job as the Danny Ocean type. Camila Rodriguez plays his sidekick and adds some sass. Madilyn Kellam plays the sister and unwitting member of the crew and I loved her chemistry with Fegley. Danny Glover plays Santa Claus with gravitas and a sly smile. The rest of the cast is great. Of course, the real star of the movie is the heist itself which is fairly simple but fits together in a satisfying way. The kids learn things about themselves and it gets heartwarming. It also might set up a sequel? I recommend this movie.

Dashing Through the Snow (2023)

I was not sure about this one but the cast looked good on paper. A crisis management social worker who hates Christmas is sucked into a holiday adventure with his daughter. Ludacris plays the lead character and he walks a fine line between not liking the holidays but also being a really good person. Madison Skye Validum plays his daughter, a true believer who wants her parents to get back together. Lil Rel Howery plays a truly joyous yet scattered version of Santa Claus, easily distracted but knowing what matters. Teyonah Parris plays the high-energy mom who wants her daughter to bond with her father. This is basically an extended chase film with the heroes trying to deal with unknown “bad guys” in pursuit. Ludacris does a great job carrying the movie and feels really relatable to me. I recommend this movie.

Candy Cane Lane (2023) 

I knew I was going to watch this as soon as I saw a trailer for it. A man who wants to win a holiday decorating contest goes all out and unwittingly gets tricked by an elf. The movie is heavily based on the Twelve Days of Christmas and really plays into how much of a pain that song is. Eddie Murphy plays the lead character, a man who may be a little too obsessed with Christmas and who also wants to do right by his wife and kids. Tracee Ellis Ross plays his more grounded wife who is supportive but focused on getting a promotion. Genneya Walton, Thaddeus J. Mixson, and Madison Thomas play the kids and they have great chemistry with their parents. Jillian Bell plays the goofy elf villain who is over the top in everything. Nick Offerman, Robin Thede, and Chris Redd play living ornaments. David Alan Grier plays Santa Claus with swagger. I felt like the movie dragged a little in places and some of the animation felt a little off but overall it was fun. I recommend this movie.

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Music of the Week:

Maddie & Tae – It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Samara Joy – The Christmas Song

Mary J Blige – Winter Wonderland

Matt Dusk – Rockin’ Rudolph

Mashup of the Week

DasonRZ Mashups – Get Last Christmas Low

Weekly Update:

• This week’s theme is “The Magic of Black Santa”
• I watched a ton of YouTube and Twitch: Impact Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling,  LegalEagle, Dead Meat, Some More News, Games Done Quick, Cultaholic, Allison Pregler, Phelous, Game Theory, Jesse Cox, Super Beard Bros, Drawfee, Nick DiRamio, Sad Boyz, Jarvis Johnson, KallMeKris, Dropout, Swell Entertainment, Amalee
• I started Hawai’i 5-0 Season 4
• I watched more NCIS Hawai’i Season 2
• I watched more NCIS Season 20
• I watched more Murder She Wrote Season 2
• I watched more Brooklyn 99 Season 5
• I watched more The Sopranos Season 1
• I watched The Rifftrax Christmas Short-Tacular 

Top 11 Favorite West Wing Episodes Pt. 1

11. S01E05 “The Crackpots and These Women”

As White House Chief of Staff Leo McGarry would say, “Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of the White House, had a two-ton block of cheese. It was there, for any and all who were hungry, it was there for the voiceless.” In truth, Jackson did not care much for the voiceless as history shows. Still, the block of cheese was real and inspired the white house staff on the show to set aside a day each year where they would have meetings with people they are usually too busy for.  CJ Cregg is put into a meeting with conservationists who propose building a “wolves only” highway to keep an endangered species from being run over by humans. Sam Seaborn meets with a citizen who claims to have seen a UFO. Josh is given a card by the NSC detailing where he should go in the event of a nuclear attack. The episode ends with President Bartlett inviting everybody to the residence for an impromptu chili dinner/party. 

This episode was the introduction to how weird and comical Big Block of Cheese Day could be. CJ and Sam’s stories touched on the weird fringes of American society. They also show how well-intentioned these people are even if they are not on the same wavelength as most people. Josh’s story is an introduction to how much these characters care for each other and have formed a relationship that is more than just coworkers. The party at the end is a relaxed summation of the episode. It also includes the first real scene between Zoey Bartlett and Charlie Young.

10. S04E07 “Election Night”

Jed Bartlett is running for his second term as President and it is finally the last day of the campaign. The Senior Staff largely has nothing to do and the President and the First Lady are busy making last-minute public appearances. Toby Ziegler finds out that his ex-wife Senator Andie Wyatt’s pregnancy is about to be publicly outed by the press. Sam Seaborn spends the day freaking out because he promised that he would run for Congress if Will Bailey was able to pull off an election win. Will is able to use determination, teamwork, and random acts of luck to win the election (although that is not official until the following episode). President Bartlett’s MS symptoms flare up causing him to worry even as he is reelected. Donna Moss is frustrated to learn that she filled out her absentee ballot incorrectly and begs Republicans at a polling place to cancel out her vote. Charlie teaches his little brother Anthony and Anthony’s friend about personal responsibility and the importance of voting.  In the opener, Josh is pranked by a theater troupe.

I loved Sam’s storyline here as Sam has so many great moments of panic as he realizes he might have to follow up on what he thought was a well-intentioned yet largely meaningless gesture. Sam’s interaction with Toby and Josh about superstition heading into the home stretch is very cute too. This is one of the episodes where we get to see a softer side to the usually curmudgeonly Toby who for once focuses on something outside of the White House. Donna’s little storyline is insane but brings the funny. The President’s moments with his wife are always fun whether they are lovey-dovey or at odds. This is early days for Will Bailey but is a great example of how much fun and how smart he is. I love Charlie schooling people on what is going on and his lesson for Anthony and Orlando rings true.

9. S04E06 “Game On” 

It is the one and only Presidential debate and there is some concern if Bartlett is up to it. In the opener, the staff pranks Toby who is wound a bit too tight.  Meanwhile, Toby is trying to convince his ex-wife Andy to remarry him now that she is pregnant. Sam Seaborn visits California where Will Bailey is still running the campaign of the deceased Horton Wilde. He tries to convince Will to drop it as the campaign is not good press for the Democrats. In the end, Sam understands what a noble thing Will is doing and throws his hat in the ring if Will somehow pulls it off. Sam seems to be reminded of himself back in the first Bartlett campaign. CJ works to prepare the spin room for after the debate. Leo and attorney Jordan Kendall try to solve a diplomatic crisis in the Middle East. Jed comes to the debate ready for a fight. 

The opener is so good and really an example of what I love most about West Wing.  The cast and characters are having a ton of fun and it shows. Sam’s scenes with Will are great as they allow a view of what it is like outside of the bubble of the White House. This episode is the start of a passing of the torch from Sam to Will and Will really runs with that torch. Leo and Jordan have a lot of great chemistry together and I could watch Leo operate in the room where it happens over and over. Toby unsuccessfully tries to remarry his ex but their chemistry continues to be great.  Toby ultimately gets a different victory when he proudly watches the President tear it up in the debate. We get another great moment between the President and the First Lady that ties into a small Charlie plot. It literally helps tie things together.

8. S02E16 “Somebody’s Going to Emergency, Somebody’s Going to Jail”

It is another “Block of Cheese Day” which means that people who usually would not get a meeting with the White House staff will get their one opportunity to be heard. The main plot follows Sam Seaborn. Sam has been sleeping in his office and working around the clock so he does not have to think about the fact that his father has been having a decades-long affair. Sam is working on Presidential pardon recommendations and is asked to meet with Donna’s friend who wants a pardon for her grandfather, a White House staffer that Sam revered in college. Sam starts to investigate the charges of espionage and treason, thinking there is nothing much there. He finds opposition at the FBI and when he tries to proceed, he is briefed by Nancy McNally, the President’s National Security Advisor. Sam finds out that the man really was a traitor to his country. A livid Sam aims to make the man’s granddaughter feel horrible but, thanks to Donna, realizes at the last minute that he is projecting his feelings about his dad onto the situation. CJ and Josh meet with the Organization of Cartographers for Social Equality where they blow her mind about what the countries on Earth really look like. Meanwhile, Toby is tapped to speak to protestors who are railing against globalization. At first, Toby does not take it seriously but is convinced to step up to the plate and deliver a speech that helps heal the divide. The President gets word that the site of his Presidential Library is not going to work which gets him thinking about whether or not he is going to run for reelection.

Of course, since this is a Block of Cheese Day episode, there is a lot of comedy. CJ’s scene with the cartographers is both informative and silly and showcases the wit of Allison Janney. Toby spends most of the episode acting smugly superior but great chemistry with the cop assigned to protect him reminds him why he got into politics. It’s about the message. The President’s storyline is not much but it sets up for future storylines and a scene in a future episode in particular. Sam is the one who really shines in this episode. Sam is out of sorts but tries to remain his usual chipper and optimistic self. We watch as he is slowly stymied and forced to confront the disappointment not only with a career hero of his but also with his father. We see Sam get cut to the bone and bare his soul to Donna in an excellent bit of drama. As somebody with father issues, this really hit home.

7. S04E19 “Angel Maintenance”

Air Force One is making its 18-hour return from the Philippines and everybody is exhausted. The cockpit informs everybody that their landing is delayed. The President and his staff are eventually informed that there is a problem with the landing gear. CJ and Will are tasked with distracting the press onboard from the crisis so as not to panic them or the people of the United States. After a long, tense wait, the plane is fixed and they are safe. On the ground, Josh is working on an environmental bill with a Republican senator and gets flack from Democrats about it. The bill eventually falls through. Toby is tasked with getting the Congressional Black Caucus on board with the Khundu (fictional Asian country) Peacekeeping Bill. They want to reinstate the draft because too many Black men are the ones forced to fight on the front lines. Toby has a frank discussion with the Congressman in charge and is able to broker a deal. 

I loved the main story of Air Force One being in trouble. The comical ways in which CJ and Will try to cover things up inevitably fall apart in the best ways. The chemistry between the two characters best known for their dry wit is great. I also love scenes where CJ interacts with the press corps as it shows that they are all human. The President is grumpy throughout the episode but in a comical way because we know there is no way that the plane is crashing. It is tense but it is the most well-equipped plane on Earth and everything is going to be fine. Toby and the Congressman’s discussion about race in the United States and the demographics of the military rings true. Toby is immediately on the Congressman’s side but must still debate the issue with all due respect. Josh’s annoyance at his own party for ruining a chance for a bipartisan effort feels real. Donna gets a moment to express job dissatisfaction and restlessness which is a huge part of her character arc.

6. S06E17 “A Good Day” 

When presidential candidate Matt Santos and the politicians stumping for him (and the other two Democratic candidates) return to Washington for a vote on stem cell research, the Speaker of the House tables the vote for a later date. The Democrats need to return to the campaign trail and the Speaker is obviously counting on that to run a mostly unopposed vote. Deputy Chief of Staff Cliff Calley scrambles to rescue the vote. He and Santos work out a plan to sneak the Democrats back into DC for the vote. The senators are corralled in a colleague’s office as they spread disinformation to make it look like the vote will be unopposed. At the last minute, the Democrats arrive for the vote defeating the Speaker. Toby pawns off a meeting with a group of high schoolers onto Deputy Press Secretary Annabeth Schott. When Toby runs into the tour, he finds that the high schoolers want to lower the voting age and present an intellectual challenge. Toby is inspired and reinvigorated into debating the matter with the kids. Deputy National Security Advisor Kate Harper is presented with an international incident when American hunters wander onto Canadian land. She manages to defuse the situation without the use of the US military and avoids any further friction.

This is a really fun episode in the middle of a tense season. Everybody on the show had spent much of the season adjusting to new roles and new status quos. This allowed them to return to form and knock one out of the park. This was the first episode where I realized how much fun and how much of a powerhouse Matt Santos could be. Cliff was not in the show much but he gets a moment in the sun in this episode. Kate was a great addition to the show because they needed somebody on national security who could be there for every episode. Her storyline is comical and includes plans to invade Canada. The real joy for me was Annabeth’s continued mission to reignite the enthusiasm in Toby. Toby has so much fun talking to the kids and it shows.

Hot Property

Willis looked at the gun on the table with no shortage of distrust. His gaze shifted from the iron that seemed to still burn like it had been heated in a forge. He looked across the table at Carla whose eyes were unfocused and glowing like fireflies in the dim light. He tried to be patient for a little longer. He looked down at the symbols carved into the table but was unable to decipher them. He sighed loudly.

“How much longer?” Willis asked. “This is taking too long.”

Carla grunted softly. “This ritual takes some time, Willis,” she said. “And that’s with a normal situation which this is not.”

“I didn’t figure it was,” Willis said. “It’s literally glowing, it belches flame when fired, and I lifted it from the Bureau. It’s a magical weapon but nothing like I’ve ever seen. I need to know what I have.”

“I have not been able to divine everything but I do have a basic rundown of what I have so far,” Carla said. “First, this thing has a spark of the infernal in it. A chip of unholy power mixed in with the iron. That’s probably why it is constantly on fire but does not burn the user’s hand.”

“So it won’t physically hurt the user but what about psychically?” Willis asked, glancing down at the gun again. “What about my soul?”

“Well, in my experience, having anything from the nine hells in your possession does not bode well for your soul,” Carla said. “The power inside of it is cut off from the pits so nothing bigger and badder can reach out directly. That also provides some protection for the user but it’s literally playing with fire. Hellfire is not to be taken lightly. If agents of the nine hells notice somebody using it, it might attract them or it might anger them.”

“Wouldn’t want to do either of those things,” Willis said. “I’ve got enough problems without stirring up the devils.”

“Indeed,” Carla said. “My guess is that somebody either stole or took by force an infernal sword and melted it down. They then carefully forged this gun.”

“Who could have done that?” Willis asked. “It’s not like devils are a dime a dozen on this plane.”

“A legendary hero, maybe,” Carla said. “Or a legendary villain. This is definitely legendary territory here. Did I mention that the gun does not need bullets?”

“You did not,” Willis said. “That’s definitely a pro to keeping the gun. Maybe I could be legendary.”

“Maybe,” Carla said. “It would be a good tool to combat devils and demons on our turf. They’re weak to their own power. Devils get attracted to the gun which makes it easy to find them and pop them. That’s kind of legendary.”

“Or maybe I just sell it,” Willis said. “Get it off my plate without any harm to me.” His eyes lit up, thinking about the money.

“Finding a buyer who has that much money would be highly unlikely,” Carla said. “This is impressive hardware. Not to mention that it used to be in the possession of the Bureau. They’ll be looking for it, no?”

“True,” Willis said. “I could sell it to the fae for future favors. No money changes hands and they take it into the Feywild.” He had a self-satisfied smile on his face.

“Or they hand it to somebody who will use it irresponsibly just for fun,” Carla said. “Dealing with the fae is a precarious proposition. Always.”

“Some of them are decent,” Willis said, thinking back to previous encounters. “I think. I’ve never had a problem but I guess that I’m careful.”

“Or pathetic,” Carla said.

“I’m a hero to the people,” Willis said. “I’m not pathetic.”

“So you say,” Carla said. “So what do you want to do with it?”

“I have no idea,” Willis said. “I never should have touched it in the first place.”

Media Update 12/14/23

Violent Night (2022)

I was excited about this movie as soon as I saw the first trailer but I missed it last season. Armed thieves descend upon one of the most secure mansions in the world but they did not count on Santa Claus making his rounds. David Harbour plays Santa Claws and he is such a fun and flawed character. His dialogue is great but he does so much with his eyes and body language. John Leguizamo plays the sadistic and sarcastic leader of the thieves. Young Leah Brady plays the cute little girl who believes in Santa and is also hyper-focused on Home Alone. Alexis Louder plays her mother, an outsider to the family who is more down to Earth. Alex Hassell plays the dad, a brow-beaten son of an awful capitalist family. Beverly D’Angelo plays the horrible and sadistic robber baron matriarch. I love how Santa is not John Wick and the fight scenes have an awkward comedy to them. The movie is directed by Tommy Wirkola who directed two of my favorites Red Snow and Red Snow 2. It is written by Pat Casey and Josh Miller who, among other things, co-wrote the Sonic the Hedgehog movies. It adds up to crazy fight scenes, surprisingly gory kills, snappy dialogue, and a little bit of heartwarming. I recommend this movie.

And to All a Goodnight (1980)

This has been on my Shudder list for a bit. Several girls and their boyfriends stick around the school during the holidays but somebody is stalking the grounds dressed as Santa Claws. While this is a finishing school, it basically acts as a sorority. Jennifer Runyon plays the young and innocent blond who is caring. Forrest Swanson plays the nerdy young man who cares less about sex and more about solving the mystery. Everybody else in the cast are interchangeable bimbos and hunks who do not seem to realize how much danger they are in. Standard horror movie fodder. There are a lot of fairly inventive kills with some old-school practical gore. I was a bit surprised at how much the mystery of the movie got to me. I recommend this movie.

Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)

I read that this was a sleazy movie but it was on the Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs so I decided to check it out. A mysterious killer is stalking London streets and slaughtering any man dressed like Santa Claws. The Santa Clawses are mostly creepy men who visit strip clubs and peep shows while in costume. There are some inventive and nasty kills but this is definitely an exploitation film where people just get killed nastily over and over. There is a bit of a mystery but the movie does not seem to be interested in it as much as being salacious. None of the actors really stand out and I found the movie a bit forgettable. I do not recommend this movie.

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Music of the Week:

Hannah Duckworth — Yule Shoot Your Eye Out

Texas String Assembly – My Bluegrass Christmas Tree

Just Mark – No Sad Feelings

Jon Pardi – Swing On Down To Texas

Mashup of the Week: 

Bill McClintock – Dirty Deeds Around the Christmas Tree

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Weekly Update:

• This week’s theme is “Look Out for Santa Claus”
• I watched a ton of YouTube and Twitch: Impact Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling,  LegalEagle, Dead Meat, Some More News, Games Done Quick, Cultaholic, Allison Pregler, Phelous, Game Theory, Jesse Cox, Super Beard Bros, Drawfee, Nick DiRamio, Sad Boyz, Jarvis Johnson, KallMeKris, Dropout, Swell Entertainment, Amalee
• I started Hawai’i 5-0 Season 4
• I watched more NCIS Hawai’i Season 2
• I watched more NCIS Season 20
• I finished watching West Wing
• I watched more Murder She Wrote Season 2
• I watched more Brooklyn 99 Season 5
• I watched Amityville Christmas Vacation

Legally Gef: Lambert v. Levita

Our story begins in 1931 on the Isle of Man, a 221-square-mile island under the control of England. For reference, the Isle of Man is one-sixth the size of the state of Rhode Island. A former piano salesman and farmer James T. Irving lived in an area called Cashen Gap with his family. In the walls of their home, they started to hear strange animal noises which were driving them crazy. Irving tried his best to exterminate or scare off this creature but to no avail. Instead, the family found that the creature was good at mimicking sounds. They began to teach it how to do other animal sounds. They then moved on to teach the creature how to recite English nursery rhymes. Then suddenly the creature could speak English.

The creature introduced itself as Gef (or Jeff). He was a mongoose and he had been born in 1852, making him eighty years old. He had been born in India and somehow made it halfway around the world. Gef spoke several languages and claimed to be clairvoyant. The family fed him and in return, he caught rabbits and left them on the doorstep. Irving rarely saw Gef himself but had a lot related to him by his wife and daughter. 

Tales of Gef began to spread and reporters from the Daily Mail and the Daily Sketch showed up to investigate. Neither reporter was able to lay eyes on the mongoose but the reporter from the Sketch apparently got to hear Gef speak. The reporter did not buy it and thought Irving’s daughter was the one actually speaking. Still, the silly little story continued to spread. 

In stepped Harry Price, who was an investigator of the paranormal and psychical phenomena. While Price was able to debunk some fraudulent mediums, he was still a true believer when it came to the strange and weird. He bought into the story of Gef in a big way and began to correspond with Irving about it. Irving apparently sent Price a bit of Gef’s fur. It was tested and was determined to be sheepdog hair. Still, Price was interested. He decided to make a trip out there. Price arrived in Cashen Gap with his friend Rex Lambert. Neither Price nor Lambert got to see Gef and they left disappointed. Irving sent Price Gef’s footprints in plaster and a drawing of Gef based on a dictated description from Gef himself. The footprints were unidentifiable. Price and Lambert cashed in on a wave of interest and published a book about it together.

Flash forward to 1936. Rex Lambert was a journalist who worked for the BBC and was on the board of the British Film Institute. The board’s job, as a government-funded organization, was to choose films suitable to be shown to young people. Lambert had objected to choosing a commercial film venture possibly because he suspected financial irregularities on the part of the film’s backer. The backer was subsequently forced out of his job. Another member of the board objected to this and her name was Lady Florence Levita. She had supported the film and the backer.

It was at this point that Lady Levita’s husband Sir Cecil Levita let slip over lunch that Lambert had fallen for the hokum of Harry Price. He said that Lambert had moved houses several times trying to escape “the evil eye” and that he really believed in Gef the Talking Mongoose. This put Lambert in a bad spot with his bosses at the BBC and put his reputation on the line. Legal letters rapidly went back and forth between Sir Levita and Lambert. Finally, Lambert filed a case for slander against Levita. Lambert was able to prove damages and got a financial judgment from Levita which was over 650,000 pounds in today’s money (or $800,000). 

Now, I’m not sure about how defamation suits work in the UK (and especially back in 1936) but I do know a bit about them in the United States. Slander is an untrue spoken statement that damages the person filing the slander suit. The best defense to a suit of slander is that the statement was not false and was the truth. Sir Levita was not able to prove that Lambert really believed in Gef. For the record, the reason Irving gave for why Gef never appeared to Lambert and Price was that Gef had sensed that Lambert was a doubter. Lambert had profited from the Gef story but he never really believed it. Thankfully, this came out in court well after the book had been released so it did not hurt sales.

The BBC apparently pressured Lambert to drop the case out of fear that the case would make them look bad. When this came out during the trial, Parliament was not pleased. They launched an investigation into how the BBC was being run. The report came back that the BBC did not do anything illegal but employees of the BBC had done some unethical things. This led to reforms in how the BBC was structured to mirror how things were in civil service.

Lambert left the UK for Canada before World War II and got a job with the Canadian Broadcast Corporation. Sir and Lady Levita diminished their public presence after being embarrassed in court. Harry Price kept investigating the paranormal and donated all of his pseudo-magickal junk to the University of London where it still exists. The Irving family eventually moved but must have taken Gef with them. The new owner never saw Gef either. 

Cornered

Lara slumped against the wall under the window. For the moment, the hail of bullets had stopped as the bandits outside were probably regrouping. Lara took that moment to reload her pistols and catch her breath. However, each breath hurt so badly. She brushed her blonde hair back and tried to fix her hair tie. She pulled her jacket aside and unbuttoned her waistcoat to assess the damage. There was a lot of blood. She could not see where her shirt ended and the wound began.

A small rat crawled out of a hole in the floor and made a loud surprised squeak.

“That looks really bad, Lara,” the rat said. “We need to get you out of here.”

“That’s easy for you to say, Aleister,” Lara said. “I can’t just transform into a varmint and squeeze my way out of here. Wish I could.”

“I wish the big guy was here,” Aleister said.

“Rocky is on vacation,” Lara said. “We honor vacations around here. Though I would love to have him around to soak up some of the bullets.”

“We should probably do some hiring,” Aleister said.

“You’re probably right,” Lara said. “That’s not going to do a lot of good right now, though. Is it?”

“I could go back and see if I can bring in a healing potion,” Aleister said. 

“There’s no time for that,” Lara said. “I’m going to have to go with plan D.”

“Are we already on plan D?” Aleister asked. “Oh dear. What is plan D?” The little rat rubbed his little paws together nervously.

“A blaze of glory,” Lara said. “That’s usually what my plans come to eventually anyway.”

“Sadly, I cannot argue that point,” Aleister said. “At least we’re in this together.”

“I cannot ask you to stick around, Al,” Lara said. “I don’t want to see you shot.”

The rat’s form shimmered and expanded as he slowly turned into a brown-haired halfling man. He had that same damned polite smile that he always had. He was too pure for this world.

“You don’t have to ask,” Aleister said. “You never have to ask.”

“Could you get any more saccharine?” Lara asked. 

She focused her will and then pressed her palm to her gunshot wound. Ice began to form on the wound. The wound was soon packed with ice and the pain seemed like a distant light on the horizon. She summoned up her will again and flames poured into the chambers of her revolvers.

“Do you need a gun?” Lara asked.

“I never shot straight,” Aleister said. “I’ll do it my way.”

Aleister whispered a few words and a loud buzzing sound outside.

“What is that?” Lara asked.

“A new trick,” Aleister said. “I called in some friends.”

Lara stood up and looked out the window and saw that the sky was dark with a gigantic swarm of bees. Lara whistled and aimed her guns and started firing burning bullets through the window into her pursuers one by one. Her targets were mostly distracted by the bees. When the dust settled and the bees dissipated, Lara and Aleister were the last ones standing. 

Media Update 12/7/23

Blue Beetle (2023)

I discovered this character from the excellent Young Justice cartoon and this is has been a legacy character anyway so I was excited. A young man from the barrio must rely on his family when he gets tangled up in corporate greed and extraterrestrial technology. Xolo Maridueña plays a great fish-out-of-water superhero with a good heart. Bruna Marquezine plays a young woman pushed out of her father’s legacy and is trying to make things right. George Lopez plays the loud and boisterous uncle who is somewhat of a mentor to the hero. Belissa Escobedo plays the snarky little sister very well. Elpidia Carrillo, Adriana Barraza, and Damián Alcázar are also family and add more of the heartwarming moments. Susan Sarandon is excellent as the ruthless corporate raider villain. Raoul Max Trujillo is the imposing and rage-filled heavy. The movie is a very fun and different look at being a superhero. The movie is true to the comics and the legacy of the character. It went a little too far on the comedy scale and some of the pacing was off but it was overall a fun movie. I recommend this movie.

Mr. Saturday Night (1992)

I watched this with some friends of the family during a movie night. A look back at the life and career of an insult comedian as he approaches the last stage of his time on Earth. The movie is a love letter to old-school comedy obviously based on comics like Milton Berle and Don Rickles. Billy Crystal plays the title character for most of his life. He comes off as such a bastard but I could not help but feel sympathy for him as well. David Paymer plays Crystal’s long-suffering brother and business manager. He is so great as a somewhat pathetic but loving character. Julie Warner plays Crystal’s loving and supportive (and funny) wife. Helen Hunt plays Crystal’s young new manager who really believes in her new client while trying to learn about old-school comedy. Mary Mara plays Crystal’s neglected and troubled daughter who just wants her parents’ love. The movie is all over the place as it has a ton of flashbacks as the movie’s present-day narrative continues. As much of a mess as it is, it still manages to be both funny and really tug at the heartstrings. I recommend this movie.

Stan Against Evil (2016 – 2018)

I was a huge Scrubs fan so I have had this on my list for a while. A grumpy ex-Sherriff discovers that his deceased wife was a monster hunter and he must join forces with the new sheriff to save the town. John C. McGinley plays the extremely grumpy and stubborn main character who often must be pushed into doing the right thing but deep down has a good heart. Janet Varney plays the snarky new sheriff who is pissed about being caught up in supernatural nonsense.  Deborah Baker Jr. plays McGinley’s ditzy and largely oblivious daughter who often becomes his conscience. Most episodes revolve around the three of them dealing with the latest supernatural threat that usually targets them in particular. The chemistry of the cast feels really good which helps temper having a very curmudgeonly character. I recommend this show.

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Music of the Week:

Sextronica – Fight Club For Life

Pacifica – Fantasies

The Dead Ringers – Last Time

Three Eyes of the Void – The Atheist

Mashup of the Week: 

Domsta – Fast Love-itating

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Weekly Update:

• This week’s theme is “Family”
• I watched a ton of YouTube and Twitch: Impact Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling,  LegalEagle, Dead Meat, Some More News, Games Done Quick, Cultaholic, Allison Pregler, Phelous, Game Theory, Jesse Cox, Super Beard Bros, Drawfee, Nick DiRamio, Sad Boyz, Jarvis Johnson, KallMeKris, Dropout, Swell Entertainment, Amalee
• I watched more Hawai’i 5-0 Season 3
• I watched more NCIS Hawai’i Season 2
• I watched more NCIS Season 20
• I watched more West Wing
• I watched more Murder She Wrote Season 2