Another Group of Posters Based on Song Titles
Archive for September, 2023
The Horror Movie Poster Project Pt. 6
September 30, 2023Media Update 9/28/23
September 28, 2023Evil Dead Rise (2023)
The Evil Dead franchise was one of the first horror franchises that I watched that felt really good and I have been fixated it ever since watching the first movie. I reviewed the soft reboot seven years ago. I was excited that the franchise is finally back after ten years in limbo. While visiting her estranged sister and their kids, a young woman must navigate a crumbling apartment building under the spell of the Book of the Dead. This movie is a continuation of the original trilogy but a new chapter apart from Ash Williams. Lily Sullivan plays the badass aunt who was just trying to figure out her life when horror strikes. Alyssa Sutherland plays the tired yet cool mother who just wants better for herself and her kids. Morgan Davies, Gabrielle Echols, and Nell Fisher are great as the kids. The actors playing the deadites are so great at being absolutely deranged yet kind of snarky. They carry on the tradition, especially from the first two movies and the television show. This one has a ton of blood in it but in a much more comic book style. It was really cool to see the horror unfold in an urban setting instead of a rural one this time. The movie was a roller coaster and really felt like it fit in with the rest of the franchise. I recommend this movie.
Terrifier 2 (2022)
I reviewed the first movie five years ago and it was a fascinating yet bloody affair. When I heard that there was going to be a sequel, I was definitely on board. A teenage girl finds that she has a strange connection to Art the Clown who has been mysteriously resurrected to once again inflict his brand of bloody chaos on the world. David Howard Thornton returns as the completely silent killer clown who has perfected the mime act. He does so much with his face that it is difficult to look away even when I wanted to. Amelie McLain plays an unnamed little clown girl who now accompanies Art and seems to be the dark spirit that has brought him back. Lauren LaVera is a welcome addition as a cosplay-loving and somewhat badass teen girl. Elliott Fullam plays the nerdy little brother who means well but is just a bit off. The movie is balls-to-the-wall crazy and there are few scenes that are not showered in blood. Absolutely nobody is safe and the movie has a deranged take on horror comedy. It has a bit of a punk rock feel to it. This one is definitely not for the faint of heart. I do not recommend it unless you are ready for a lot of blood and very graphic violence.
Scream (2022)
I started catching up on this franchise earlier this year and I have been wanting to see the continuation of the series for a while. It was time to check out the post-Wes version of the franchise. Twenty-five years after the original Ghostface killings, a young woman returns to Woodsboro to protect her younger sister from a new Ghostface. Melissa Barrera is great as the newcomer to the series who just wants to protect herself and her sister above all. Jenna Ortega plays her younger sister, a fragile and wounded character who has an incredible bond with her sister. Roger Jackson returns as the voice of Ghostface and is just perfect as always in the role. Neve Campbell and Courtney Cox return as legacy characters and we can see how they have grown. A special shout out to David Arquette who gives such a great performance as a broken man who just has the biggest heart despite his past. New characters played by Dylan Minette, Jack Quaid, Jasmin Savoy Brown, Mikey Madison, Mason Gooding, and Sonia Ammar add great new blood to the franchise. I felt that the movie was even stronger than 3 and 4 and proves that Scream can survive without Wes Craven. I recommend this movie.
Music of the Week:
Sumerlands – Twilight Points the Way
Ladon Heads – Master of Sorcery
Tomb Mold – The Enduring Spirit of Calamity
Mashup of the Week:
CarrotsTheRabbi – “Earth, Wind & Nicki
Weekly Update:
- This week’s theme is “Horror Sequels”
- I watched a ton of YouTube and Twitch: Impact Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling, LegalEagle, Dead Meat, Some More News, Games Done Quick, Cultaholic, Allison Pregler, Phelous, Game Theory, Jesse Cox, Super Beard Bros, Drawfee, Nick DiRamio, Sad Boyz, Jarvis Johnson, KallMeKris, Dropout, Swell Entertainment, Gabi Belle, Amalee
- I watched more Hawai’i 5-0 Season 2
- I watched more NCIS: Hawai’i Season 2
- I watched more NCIS Season 19
- I watched more Brooklyn 99 Season 4
- I watched more Murder She Wrote Season 2
- I watched more Bluey Season 3
Halloween 2023
September 25, 2023
It is time once again for my Halloween event which takes place during the whole month of October (and a little beyond). I am doing 14 full horror movie reviews and 18 mini-reviews through my regular feature Media Update. As always, this is an ambitious project and I am still nailing down a few things. This is mostly the schedule but it is subject to change. There are so many horror movies that I want to watch but only so much time and energy to write about them all. I will attempt to make these reviews as spoiler-free as possible. If any of them really strike my fancy, I may write a spoiler-full review in the future. For those who do not know, these are all first impression reviews as I have not seen any of the movies on the schedule below.
September 21 – Media Update – Prequels
September 28 – Media Update – Sequels
October 2 – The Conjuring (2013)
October 4 – Smile (2022)
October 5 – Media Update – Full Moon Features
October 6 – The Blackening (2023)
October 9 – Skinamarink (2022)
October 11 – The Black Phone (2021)
October 12 – Media Update – Rock and Roll
October 13 – Demons (1985)
October 16 – Tourist Trap (1979)
October 18 – The Strangers (2008)
October 19 – Media Update – Hammer Films
October 20 – Dawn of the Dead (1978)
October 23 – Cam (2018)
October 25 – The Lighthouse (2019)
October 26 – Media Update – NOLA
October 27 – Men (2022)
October 30 – Berberian Sound Studio (2012)
October 31 – One Cut of the Dead (2017)
The Sign of Mr. Thorn
September 23, 2023Winnley Calfstride had no idea what she was getting herself into when she followed the rumors to the town of Shadowfield. The journey had taken months and, at this point, she wished that she had just stayed put. She had heard that Shadowfield could possibly give her back her sister. She had been astonished to hear that people were coming back to the land of the living. It was apparently being done without the aid of the temples. Necromancy was forbidden in pretty much every civilized kingdom so the claims were more than a little astonishing and admittedly dubious. Still, Winn had nothing else going on in her life so she traveled to see what was going on. She had sold her own musical skills to beg and borrow her way to Shadowfield.
Along the way, she had had plenty of time to dwell on her sister Myra. The two of them had been inseparable as part of the Exalted Circus. Winn played music while Myra did knife tricks. Their cart had lost control when it had gotten unhooked from the horses. The cart had gone over a cliff. Winn had jumped but Myra had gotten her cloak stuck and had gone over the cliff. Winn had been shattered and abandoned the circus to recover her sister’s body. Grief had consumed her which only lifted slightly when she thought there might be a chance of Myra’s return. She was no longer the sunny, happy girl she had been but she had not been drowning the last few months.
When she arrived, nobody would talk to her about the miraculous resurrections. She kept asking but people would call out to the Gods and turn their backs. Admittedly, this was not the greatest sign and she should have walked away then. Her greedy soul ached for Myra and she kept going. That was when she was approached by the mysterious Mr. Thorn. He had explained that he could help her call out to her sister and lead her back to the land of the living. Winn had believed him. He had branded her with his mark and tethered her soul to Myra’s. The next night, Myra had come back but she had come back with a vengeance.
Myra was currently chasing Winn through the woods outside of Shadowfield with a long knife. Myra had come back very different with shaggy black hair offset by pale white skin and hollow eyes. Myra’s joy had been replaced with a silent, murderous rage. There was nothing left of her sister in there and Myra now seemed to have inhuman strength and speed. Winn had ducked into a cabin in the woods that seemed to be empty. That was when Myta had cornered her.
“Myra!” Winn called out, holding her hand out toward her sister. “It’s me, your sister. Come back to me.
Myra just stared at Winn like somebody or something else was behind the wheel inside of her. Winn backed against the wall and pulled out her lute. She played but Myra remained deaf to her music, something that usually had made Myra smile. Myra just stared, fingers twitching on the handle of the knife.
“Myra, I missed you,” Winn said. “I couldn’t let you go.”
Myra slashed the knife at Winn, an attack that was barely dodged. Tears started to fall from Winn.
“Don’t make me do this,” Winn said softly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
Myra approached menacingly.
“But I don’t want you hurting me either,” Winn said.
She extended her hand and focused energy into the ring on her finger. A bolt of fire arced toward Myra and impacted the revenant’s chest. Myra briefly burned but kept advancing. Winn tripped and fell backward as Myra loomed over her. It was only then that she saw the mark of Mr. Thorn still on her arm. A sudden and desperate plan formed in her head and she said a silent prayer to the Raven Queen.
“Goodbye, Myra,” Winn said. “I hope I see you again but maybe not so soon.” She grunted. “This is going to hurt.”
She focused on the ring again and then slapped it against the mark of Mr. Thorn. The fire unleashed and she felt and smelled her skin burning away. As the mark was engulfed in flames, she could hear a distant scream and Myra dropped where she stood. As Winn desperately poured water on her charred arm, she said a little prayer for her sister.
Media Update 9/21/23
September 21, 2023Pearl (2022)
I absolutely adored X last year and I was excited to see another story in that saga. This was written in quarantine and secretly filmed alongside X. Young farmgirl Pearl dreams of stardom and a life far from the family farm and her oppressive mother but she is also battling her own inner turmoil. Mia Goth is so great as the titular character, an eternal optimist who lives in her own strange dream world. She is just so magnetic in this role that I want to watch every single thing she does. David Corenswet is great as the somewhat sleazy and bohemian projectionist offering a window into showbiz. Matthew Sunderland does so much with just his eyes. Tandi Wright is bitter yet grounded as Pearl’s mother. Emma Jenkins-Purro is a very sunny young woman. The tension in this one is a slow burn but the wait is well worth it for the closing sequences. The movie is very stylized as some see it as a twisted horror version of the Wizard of Oz. I recommend this movie whether you saw X or not.
Seoul Station (2016)
This came out the same year Train to Busan came out but I did not check it out at the time because it was on Shudder and I was not a subscriber yet. On the night before the events of Train to Busan, a father tries to find his daughter who disappeared years earlier. Soon, Seoul is under siege by the undead and the reunion will be much more difficult. This was an interesting movie as its connection to its sequel does not include any character connections. It does explain somewhat the condition that Seoul is in at the start of Train to Busan. Zombie outbreaks are always so interesting because you often get to see the difference in how people and institutions react. This is even more true looking back from 2023. Focusing on three main characters grounds the action which cycles between bloody chaos and fearful contemplation. The animation is rotoscoped which gives some of it an otherworldly feel. I recommend this movie.
Ginger Snaps Back: The Beginning (2004)
I watched the original movie a couple of years ago and I have not gotten around to the sequel or the prequel. Two sisters are lost in the woods in the 1800s when they come upon a fort in the wilderness under siege by something dark and sinister. Once again we are following sisters played by the actresses from the first film, Katharine Isabelle and Emily Perkins. They are the only women among men slowly growing mad in the wilds. Nathaniel Arcand plays a forthright Cree hunter. JR Bourne plays an extremely misogynistic man who is second in command and has let power go to his head. Tom McCamus plays the troubled and weary leader of the camp. The movie is tense as the situation continues to degrade and the sisters must trust each other. While this is not the greatest movie, I appreciated the dialogue from the sisters and yet another look at how lycanthropy works. And yet, I would not recommend this movie.
Music of the Week:
Mashup of the Week:
Weekly Update:
- This week’s theme is “Horror Prequels”
- I watched a ton of YouTube and Twitch: Impact Wrestling, All Elite Wrestling, LegalEagle, Dead Meat, Some More News, Games Done Quick, Cultaholic, Allison Pregler, Phelous, Game Theory, Jesse Cox, Super Beard Bros, Drawfee, Nick DiRamio, Sad Boyz, Jarvis Johnson, KallMeKris, Dropout, Swell Entertainment, Gabi Belle, Amalee
- I watched more Hawai’i 5-0 Season 2
- I watched more NCIS: Hawai’i Season 2
- I watched more NCIS Season 19
- I watched more Brooklyn 99 Season 4
- I watched more Murder She Wrote Season 2
- I watched more Bluey Season 3
- I finished Twisted Metal Season 1
Gingerclown (2013) – A Full Spoiler Breakdown Pt. 2
September 18, 2023We return to Sam and Jenny. They continue to run around the park, getting lost. Jenny hopes that if they do not come out after midnight Biff and the others will call for help. Sam rails about what an asshole Biff is. The two of them are interrupted when they hear music. Jenny suggests they check it out since moving toward lights and music has worked so well for them so far. Sam objects but Jenny goads him into action asking if he wants to wait there for help all night. They start to enter the building where the music is playing but it smells disgusting. They decide to enter anyway instead of going literally anywhere else.
Inside, they find a slimy blobby creature, Womface, twitching in time to the music with delight until the record player malfunctions. The creature curses loudly about it and calls for “Dennis”. A large metallic sphere rolls into the room and sasses Wormface. This is apparently Dennis. Wormface goes on to complain about how they have not modernized the park and continue to rely on older technology that keeps breaking down. He is frustrated at having to use the same gramophone for 500 years and rants about updating technology vs. upholding tradition. He calls Gingerclown a cheap bastard. This devolves into Dennis and Wormface debating music which leads to Wormface insulting David Bowie. Sam and Jenny have been watching all of this and debate which way they should go next, not wanting to deal with anybody they have encountered so far. The two just leave and neither Wormface nor Dennis are ever seen again.
We return to Biff who is wandering with determination somewhere else in the park. He finds an attraction lined with skulls and bathed in red light. He decides that Sam and Jenny must be in there and goes inside.
We return to Sam and Jenny who are walking slowly down a corridor. Jenny gives another vague exposition dump where she explains that the park had been burned down by the staff after they lost their jobs. Presumably, this happened after all those people died or something. Sam asks how she knows this and Jenny explains that she found out through her father who has had a lot of time to read since he has no job. She explains that he can’t hold down a job because he is an alcoholic. She admits that Biff was actually right about her father being an asshole. Despite that, she still loves her father especially after her mother died. The two wisely decide not to talk for a long beat after that clumsy and awkward dialogue. They are then swarmed by bats.
We return to Biff who has wandered into a funhouse and keeps getting distracted by wacky elements like furniture that shifts, stairs that slant too much, and floorboards that play music. Gingerclown addresses Biff by name over the PA system and taunts him. Biff is ticked off and is thus taken by surprise when Gingerclown grabs him and drags him away.
We return to Jenny and Sam who are walking along some sort of dark ride entrance and being watched by two slimy creatures. While Sam and Jenny cannot hear them, the audience listens to them ogle the pair of teens’ brains. The two discuss the matter at length but are probably forbidden from feasting before Gingerclown gets his turn so they hold back. Sam hears something but the two of them move on. After a few more steps, Jenny finally has a freak out which distracts her while Sam is grabbed by Gingerclown. Jenny further freaks out that she is now alone in a demonic amusement park.
Sam wakes up as he is dragged along a tile floor by Gingerclown and manages to wriggle free from his grasp and runs away. Gingerclown seems to relish the opportunity to play with his food by tormenting Sam who tries to barricade himself in some sort of employee locker room. Sam tries to sneak away, not seeing that Gingerclown is right behind him. He approaches a door which is slowly closed in his face by the clawed hand of Gingerclown. Gingerclown continues to taunt him by talking nonsense and lingering behind Sam and vanishing when Sam turns around. He finally grabs Sam and starts to drag him again.
We return to Jenny who is wandering alone below what appears to be an indoor rollercoaster of some kind. She hears Sam screaming in the distance and runs toward the sound but slows when the noise stops. She slowly walks into an area with tons of spider webs where something is whispering her name. Something long and purple and wet descends from above and licks her face. She screams and runs, calling out Sam’s name.
We return to Sam who has been laid out on a table. Gingerclown lingers nearby but Sam vaults off of the table and runs as Gingerclown gives chase yet again.
We return to Jenny who is now inside another staff area. She finds a newspaper from the day Kennedy was shot, dating the closure of the park somewhat. Many hands are repeatedly seen wriggling in the shadows but they disappear when Jenny turns to look. Then she turns around and all of the hands are on her, slimy and grasping as she screams. She bites one of them to get away. Jenny screams at the top of her lungs and bolts into another area covered in cobwebs. A giant spider creeps up behind her and tells her that they will play a game. If the spider wins, the spider eats Jenny. The rules of this game are made up during play. Jenny insists that the spider go first, smoothing the request over by calling it a head start. The spider laughs and the game commences.
*This is the weirdest part of this movie and that’s saying something!*
The spider picks up a disembodied human head and rolls it like it is a die. I will actually include the exact dialogue here because it makes very little sense but is still fascinating.
Spider: One, Two, Four, Six/These fine little corpses can do no tricks
Jenny picks up the head and tosses it down again. We don’t see how it lands but apparently, she did well.
Spider: Talk about blind luck! Mmm, a good throw, a nice throw. Won’t you say the line?
Jenny: Five, One, Four and Two/I hope these lines are good enough for you
Spider: Oh you are good. Very good. But let’s see how you deal with this.
The spider tosses the head again.
Two, Seven, Six, Three/ I’ll cut your head off and eat your knee!
Jenny bends down, picks up the head, and tosses it again.
Jenny: Seven, Three, Nine, Two/ You’ll lose if you don’t let me go too!
Spider: (With some despair and shock) This can’t be true! You must be a true champion! I have to get myself together.
The spider tosses the head again.
One, Six, Seven, Four/ I’ll rip your heart out on the second floor
Jenny grabs the head and tosses it again, obviously gaining confidence since she is winning somehow.
Jenny: Five, Three, Two, Seven, and Five/ I believe it’s your final jive!
Spider: I am gonna shit my pants! No! Hell no! Nobody has ever beaten me. No! Here, take it.
The spider racks a shotgun and holds it out to Jenny who takes it.
Spider: I couldn’t bear the shame. I had to quit on top.
Jenny fires the shotgun point blank into the spider’s face, getting covered in spider bits. She exits the room, trying to wipe it all off.
We return to Sam who has apparently gotten away from Gingerclown somehow and is navigating his way through a dark ride. Gingerclown comes up behind him and steals his backpack full of treasures. Sam turns around and Gingerclown says that he will eat Sam’s soul. Sam hides in an electrical room, seals the door, and sobs as Gingerclown bangs on the door. When the banging stops, he exits the room with Gingerclown nowhere in sight.
We cut to Gingerclown back in his lair examining the contents of the backpack and laughing to himself. He is particularly interested in a sketch Sam has made of him and Jenny embracing each other. It seems Sam has had a crush on Jenny for quite some time.
We return to Jenny who has now gotten outside. She finds Sam and the two of them hug each other with some relief. They resolve to escape but the park and they spot where they entered and presumably where they can escape. Sam starts to confess to Jenny that he loves her when the two of them hear Biff crying out for help. They find Biff in the care of Stomachrumble and Braineater who are talking about wanting to eat Biff. The two have obviously spent too much time with each other as they have what amounts to a roommate squabble. Biff finally interrupts to ask to be let go. This directs the monsters’ attention back to Biff briefly but the two of them keep fighting and walk off berating each other. Sam and Jenny swoop in to get Biff off of the ground but Biff blames Sam for everything and physically attacks Sam. This makes enough noise to lure the monsters back and all three humans take off running.
Sam tries to lead the monsters away while Jenny and Biff flee but Biff almost immediately pushes Jenny away and tries to run off on his own. He spots a little clown girl on a tricycle and actually approaches a small child in a horror situation. He tries to steal her tricycle (?) but she bites him and continues on. Biff loses it and starts screaming and crying. He tries to run again when he hears a roaring sound but stumbles into a spinning teacups ride. The ride starts up at a crazy rate of speed as Biff screams to be let off. The ride slows to a stop and Biff is nothing but a bloody skeleton. Gingerclown chuckles from nearby.
Sam wakes up with his wrists tied to the arms of a chair. Gingerclown taunts him from the shadows and says that he cannot let Sam go as that would not be funny. Gingerclown tells Sam a story. It is a long rambling, nonsensical joke. Gingerclown then objects to the presence of Sam and Jenny and says that they will be sacrificed. Gingerclown excuses himself to deal with Jenny first and leaves Sam alone. Sam panics at the thought of Gingerclown going after Jenny while she is alone.
Jenny is leaning near the Ferris wheel and crying. Gingerclown approaches her and she screams as he laughs and taunts her. Jenny asks what he has done with Sam and Gingerclown says that he has done nothing… yet. Gingerclown continues to taunt Jenny as he sings his own praises. Jenny spots a chain hanging off of the operating Ferris wheel. She wraps it around Gingerclown. Sam appears and wraps a chain around Gingerclown’s neck. Sam repeats Gingerclown’s long rambling joke back to him but purposefully screws it up which seems to cause Gingerclown additional pain. They leave Gingerclown chained up and he seems to burn out and slump against the chains. Sam and Jenny flee as the sun starts to come up.
The two of them hold hands as they walk toward the entrance of the park. They pause and Jenny kisses Sam. As the credits roll, they tease each other and flirt. They briefly acknowledge that Biff is super dead.
The Muppet Show Season 7 Pt. 5
September 16, 2023
S07E13 Ringo Starr
Ringo Starr aka Richard Starkey was born in the inner city of Liverpool to a pair of confectioners. Ringo’s parents enjoyed singing and dancing as a hobby and they passed that love of music on to their child. It was not long until his father left Ringo alone with his mother who struggled to keep up with the bills. Childhood sicknesses caused him to miss school and lag behind academically. However, he joined the hospital band where he found a lifelong love for drumming. Later, Ringo’s stepfather introduced him to big band music. Due to ongoing sickness, Ringo never returned to school but kept drumming. He joined a pair of skiffle bands and had some moderate success in Liverpool as he continued to improve. The Beatles then fired Pete Best and hired Ringo as their new drummer. He did not fit in at first but soon found himself on the same wavelength as the rest of the lads. Fans were supportive of Ringo and were clambering for more. We all know the story of The Beatles and their rocket to success not long after Ringo joined up. Ringo eventually got to write and sing some of their songs, showing that he was not just a drummer. Ringo was the first person to quit The Beatles but came back long enough for them to complete two more albums before they broke up.
During this time, Ringo had started to get more into acting as he was friends with Peter Sellers, Frank Zappa, and Harry Nilsson.
Ringo was now free to strike out on his own. While The Beatles would never reunite, Starr remained on good terms with the others. George Harrison was a frequent collaborator and Lennon and McCartney also helped out here and there. Ringo was always the happy-go-lucky member and he seemed to hold no grudges. The death of John Lennon put an end to any talk of a reunion. Ringo kept going on his own and kept cranking out albums and touring. While he never reached the heights of the other Beatles’ post-breakup offerings, he could always be relied upon to put on a great show. Ringo grew into a great educator, helping to bring up the next generations of musicians. He became friends with great musicians like Dave Grohl, Sheryl Crow, and Lenny Kravitz. Ringo continues to tour and has an album coming out next month (October 2023).
Cold Open: Ringo enters backstage just as a group of monsters run over Robin. “Tough Crowd, huh?”
Guest Arc: Robin is getting bullied by a group of big monsters and Ringo helps stand up to them
Guest Acts:
“Back Off Boogaloo” – Protecting Robin from the monsters
“Act Naturally” (Johnny Russell) – with Lubbock Lou and his Jughuggers
“It Don’t Come Easy” – With Robin and the Electric Mayhem
S07E14 Gina Lollobrigida
Gina was born as Luigia Lollobrigida in Subiaco, Italy into a family of furniture makers. During her youth, the family moved to Rome after World War II ended where she had singing lessons, did some modeling, and participated in beauty contests. She eventually made her way to the Italian stage which led to Howard Hughes discovering her. She was close to working for RKO pictures but she disagreed with the contract. This prevented her from appearing in movies filmed in America for quite some time. However, this did not prevent American directors from filming with her in Europe, much to Hughes’ annoyance. She became a huge box office draw in her native Italy but was also noticed throughout Europe as a white-hot movie star. She could also sing and did so in several of her motion pictures. She continued to work all over Europe in England, France, Italy, and more and found success in each country. She was performing with superstars like Tony Curtis, Yul Brynner, Frank Sinatra, Burt Lancaster, and Rock Hudson. She continued to be an advocate for her own career as she was able to turn down films when she had conflicts with various Hollywood directors. Her career could not be killed at this point and it continued to flourish.
She eventually turned to other pursuits than film as she appeared on television in America. She also created a successful career in the seventies as a photojournalist. This serious profession probably helped lead her into the world of politics and charity where she spent most of the latter part of her life. She stopped filming in 1997 and focused on Italian and European politics. She became an advocate for LGBT rights and the rights of Italians. She says that she was inspired by Mahatma Gandhi. She ran for office several times (the last time when she was 95) but never succeeded in getting elected. She died this year on January 16, 2023. She was one of the people listed on Jim Henson’s dream guests list and for good reason. She was a charismatic and passionate actress and singer.
Cold Open: Kermit tries to keep Piggy out of Gina’s dressing room but is surprised when Piggy is actually nice.
Guest Arc: The Muppets have managed to snag the famous Italian singer and Kermit is worried about Piggy getting jealous. Surprisingly, Piggy is thrilled as she is a big fan.
Guest Acts:
“Mambo Italiano” (Bob Merrill) – A rock arrangement with the Electric Mayhem
“That’s Amore” (Warren/Brooks) – A duet with Rowlf at the piano
“La Spagnola” (Di Chiara) – On stage with Piggy and plenty of flamenco-dancing muppets.
S07E15 Shirley Bassey
Shirley Bassey was born the sixth and youngest child in Cardiff, Wales. It was clear to teachers and fellow students in Bassey’s youth that she was a great musician. She had a great voice that people were strangely intimidated by. They were always telling her to tone it down and back off instead of shining as they knew she could. She quit school at age 14 to work at a factory but also supplemented her income by singing at pubs and clubs. In the 1950s, Bassey signed her first professional singing contract. She was billed as an African American from Harlem even though she had been born in Wales. She signed with a manager and recorded her first single “Burn My Candle” which was later banned by the BBC for being too suggestive. Clearly, there is no such thing as bad publicity as her career continued to take off and she soon placed on the UK Singles Chart. She began to perform at some of the best venues in England and also was invited to perform in Las Vegas. She continued to chart in the UK. Bassey then made her television debut on the Ed Sullivan Show. Her success continued to snowball and she was selected to sing two different James Bond themes (Goldfinger and Diamonds Are Forever).
A tax exile from England landed her in the US where her career continued to flourish before she was able to return home. At this point, she was cranking out albums like crazy and appearing on television regularly. She returned to James Bond when sang the theme for Moonraker. She eventually went into a sort of semi-retirement but continued to be an incredibly successful singer. She was still producing albums albeit at a slower rate so that she could take it easy and also focus on charity work. She kept performing but usually only at high-profile events such as the Queen’s 50th Jubilee, 60th Jubilee, the Rugby World Cup, and various charity or grand concert events. At present, she is forty years into her “semi-retirement” and is still producing albums and singing in public. She continues to be a powerhouse singer.
Cold Open: Shirley is talking with Kermit in her dressing room when they notice Piggy fuming as she spies on them. Kermit tells Shirley to just ignore that.
Guest Arc: Shirley Bassey agreed to go on the show because she has a crush which worries Ms. Piggy. It turns out to be Gonzo instead.
Guest Acts:
“Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” (Crewe/Gaudio) – Shirley sings with the Electric Mayhem
“The Magic Is You” (Vlavianós/Rupen) – Singing with Rowlf at the piano as she struggles with rejection.
“All By Myself” (Eric Carmen) – Shirley tries to sing this alone on stage but people intruding on her moment of solitude.
Gingerclown (2013) – A Full Spoiler Breakdown Pt. 1
September 11, 2023After watching the documentary Pennywise: The Story of IT (2021), I grew curious about Tim Curry. In that documentary, Curry is depicted on camera post-stroke and it made me wonder what he was up to. For those who don’t know, Curry had a stroke in 2012 that made the use of a wheelchair necessary. He has since adjusted to his new reality and has scaled back public appearances dramatically. He does most of his acting in voiceovers now which he did a lot of before the stroke as well. His voice is distinctive and rich and remains so after his stroke. While I was perusing his IMDB, I found this movie and I was instantly intrigued. Obviously, he had played a deadly clown previously so how did I not hear about this movie based on that fact alone? Probably because it is a Hungarian production outside of the Hollywood system.
Unfortunately and unsurprisingly, there are not a lot of videos of this movie online other than a few trailers and the Wormface scene. The monsters are animatronic and move like animatronics. The all-star voice cast (Tim Curry, Brad Dourif, Sean Young, Michael Winslow, Lance Hendriksen, etc.) recorded their lines comfortably back in the United States. This left the unknown young actors to stumble around an abandoned Hungarian theme park with the animatronics. I thought this movie was kind of lame when I first watched it and I still do but I really like the animatronic monsters a lot.
The movie starts with pictures of an abandoned, crumbling amusement park that seemed to be themed around clowns in general. It is set in 1983 outside of Los Angeles. Of course, it instantly feels like it is set in the 1950s with a bunch of jocks sitting in their cars with their girlfriends at an overlook. Of course, this overlook is a few feet behind the famous Hollywood sign. Is it really that easy to drive up there and not get caught drinking out of paper bags? Loudmouth Biff is shooting his mouth off to his disinterested girlfriend, Jenny, about being a pro athlete in the future. When Jenny says that she has to go home, drunk Biff berates her for being a daddy’s girl and puts down her father for not having a job. Jenny seems to want to be anywhere else as it is suggested that they go over to one of the guy’s houses as his parents are on vacation. He could have mentioned that before they drove all the way up there.
A young nerdy boy named Sam Tully starts to bicycle by them between the cars and the sign. (Again, is there just a neighborhood back there?) They instantly call him out but for some reason, he stops dead in his tracks to listen to their bullying. They talk with disrespect but he decides to not keep cycling on. Biff invites Sam to join them (red flag) and forgive each other’s trespasses (another red flag). Biff claims that their mistreatment of Tully was an initiation and now Tully is one of them (run Tully!). Jenny begs Biff to leave Tully alone when Biff turns to her for validation. Remarkably, Sam wheels his bike over to hang out with people who have no respect for him.
Biff waxes poetic about how pretty the city lights are below them, a sentiment that Sam agrees with. However, Biff says that “pussy” is far more beautiful and Biff knows that is what Sam wants. Sam tries to leave but Biff blocks his exit and offers him a quest. Jenny interjects again which Biff repays by talking about how much of a slut Jenny is. Jenny tells Biff to leave Sam alone, take her home, and go to hell in that order. Biff ignores her and asks Sam what he would do for a kiss from Jenny. Biff’s friend who mysteriously has a thick Hungarian accent suggests that Sam should go to an unnamed amusement park and bring back evidence of his visit. Jenny objects to her boyfriend pimping her out in order to further bully Sam. Biff continues to get really weird about his voyeur/exhibitionist kink. He eventually intimidates/convinces Sam to go into the amusement park.
The group of sloppily inebriated teens drive to Westlake without plowing into any other cars on the road and goad Sam into entering Everjoy Amusement Park (or NEverjoy, as the sign says). Sam gets his nerves up and declares that he is ready. It is 10 p.m. and Sam needs to stay in the park until 12:05 a.m. We get a quick vague exposition dump about the park getting shut down after “like 60 people died” and that it is dangerous in there. After Sam goes in, Jenny blows her top and tells off Biff once again. She strides into the park herself to go retrieve Sam. After a long continuous scene of Jenny wandering in the dark with nothing happening, she literally runs into Sam. Jenny berates Sam for going into the park but her rant against Biff and toxic masculinity are interrupted by a growling sound in the dark followed by howling. We see a furry/slimy creature from behind but Sam and Jenny see nothing. They decide to move further into the park.
They make their way among broken-down rides and attractions. As they walk, things start to light up a bit and music plays. Sam theorizes that somebody must know of their arrival. The lights go out again and then only the lights at the Sea of Love ride come on. Jenny theorizes that somebody might be there so they should check it out. Obvious trap is obvious but Sam does not object. When they get to the tunnel of love-style ride, they find somebody lying down in one of the gondolas and Jenny tries to contact what is obviously a long-dead body. She thinks it is Biff. As the ride starts up, Jenny climbs into an empty boat and Sam follows, not thinking it is a good idea. A reminder: Jenny objected to going in the park at all and came to get Sam out and now Sam is the voice of reason. Ahead of them, a clawed hand drags the body out of the boat that they saw earlier.
Sam and Jenny hop off of the boat into a backstage area. They hear a really strange gurgling noise and decide to walk toward it, traveling through a crawlspace between the walls of the attraction and its inner workings. They come out of the tunnel where they encounter a merry-go-round bathed in ghostly light. A spooky voice (Gingerclown himself) speaks to them over the PA system. He welcomes them and tells them that it is time to get the party started. He taunts them and then his deformed face appears as a two-story tall image behind the attraction. Jenny is scared and Sam declares that he can’t be human. The two run.
We see the furry creature we saw before from behind again as it comes up behind Gingerclown who is working at a console. Gingerclown pets his bug-eyed wolf and reveals that it was his fingers who took the body from the boat earlier as the wolf licks blood off of Gingerclown’s fingers. Gingerclown is excited to have visitors to torment.
We return to Sam and Jenny who are still scared out of their minds. They find themselves in front of a building in the park advertising a payphone. Jenny insists that they go in and call for help. Sam questions if the phone in a long-abandoned amusement park even works but Jenny insists on calling her dad and then the police. She lets rage and the thought of beating Biff senseless chase the fear out of her. Once inside, Jenny asks what Sam has in his backpack. He opens it up and starts to give her an inventory of its contents, saying that it contains all of the things that he loves. He talks at length about an old comic book that he has read a hundred times, briefly giving them hope by stating that the good guys always win.
The two of them head further in and are confronted by a sassy talking teakettle. The teakettle continues to call them stupid for asking stupid questions like whether the teakettle is the one tormenting them. The teakettle breaks things down, telling them that they are what could be referred to as Cerberus’ butthole, a place where those expelled from Hell wind up. They decide to slink away as the teakettle keeps insulting them.
We return to Biff and his friends outside of the park. Biff is still pissed that Jenny told him off and kicked his precious car. Biff decides to go into the park as well.
Friend of the Bride
September 9, 2023It was the day of the grand wedding of Princess Moonwen to the youngest son of Lord Shieldbrand, Erren, and the kingdom of Shera was rejoicing. Everybody seemed to agree that it was a match that showed great promise for the future of Shera. People adored the Princess and Erren Shieldbrand had ingratiated himself to the people as not just another noble with a pretty face. The streets of the capital were decorated with banners and flowers. There had been a parade as the happy couple made their way separately to the Temple of Lathander, the only building remotely big enough to accommodate the wedding.
Of course, holding the wedding on holy ground meant that Mallory Duskwater could not attend even though she had traveled all the way from Vedel for the festivities. An old family curse prevented her from setting foot in a temple or even a consecrated cemetery. So she waited patiently and smoked some quality dried tobacco mixed with some leaves of Crown of Glory. It was a poor substitute for the excitement of a royal wedding but it was not too bad. The people of the city who had not been invited to the wedding had been encouraged by Arbiters to stay at the edge of a wide perimeter away from the temple, allowing attendees to enter and leave at their leisure. An exception had been made for Mallory so that she could be close.
This situation had led to the streets of the temple district being as still as a ghost town with the Arbiters either outside of the temple or on the perimeter. Therefore, Mallory was surprised to see a group of men slinking toward the back of the temple. Mallory slowly got to her feet and walked toward the men, curious. She saw the flash of steel blades among them. These men meant trouble. She reached into the shadow that nestled near her soul and she vanished into thin air with a puff of acrid smoke. She reappeared in front of the men she had been following. She was carrying a black parasol and standing resolutely.
“And where do you think you’re going?” Mallory asked the men. “You don’t look like you have invitations.”
“What are you?” one of them shouted out in surprise.
“Friend of the bride,” Mallory said. “Turn around and you’ll get to walk away.”
“Get rid of her,” the man said, narrowing his eyes. “No witnesses. The Princess’ blood still runs before the wedding.”
“I won’t go down so easy,” Mallory said as she slowly closed her parasol. They were in the shadow of the temple and she had no need of it at the moment. “Let this be my wedding gift.”
The men rushed Mallory but she effortlessly dodged their attacks one by one, parrying one or two with her parasol. They decided to attack her all together and she just was not where they swung their swords. It was clear that she was toying with them and that enraged them, completely distracting them from their assassination mission.
“There is no way to outlast a knight of the realm, gentlemen,” Mallory said. “You never had a prayer. Speaking of, you should probably start saying those prayers. The end is near.”
One of the goons whispered some words and his palm lit up and two magic missiles slammed into Mallory’s gut causing her to double over and fall to her knees. The men started to approach, swords raised to finish her off. She suddenly stood straight again and dug clawed fingers into one of their necks, splashing blood on the street as she dispatched him. Her eyes were solid black and seemed to radiate a chill that had nothing to do with temperature. Mallory grabbed up the fallen man’s sword and quickly slashed up her foes. She paused to lick her fingers clean with a little chuckle. There was one man left and Mallory pushed him effortlessly off of his feet.
“Let me go!” the man cried out.
“You had your chance,” Mallory said. She smiled wide, showing off deadly fangs. “Besides, I can’t let you go now. You made me work up a thirst.” Mallory descended on the screaming man with satisfaction of a job well done.
Wolf of Words 